A picture of a study bound (SB) lunch for males in an ICON medical study. You have to eat (not more nor less): Four slices of bread (three for women) Two pieces of butter Two pickles Four small tomatoes Two savory bread toppings (you can choose from three kinds of cheese, two kinds of hummus, and a range of meat options, I chose goat cheese and melting cheese) A small carton of milk A soup (tomato soup in this case) A glass of water, tea, or coffee (in this case its roiboos tea)

10:55
I am of the firm believe that this compound has not had any effects on me as of yet. My half-understanding of its effects simply caused me to imagine some symptoms similar to a weed intake. This really shows how much one's expectations and state of mind can change your experience of the world. I laughed a lot and had a good time. I thought about how great my life was and all the things that lead to this. Sure, many things could be better, but even the bad things seemed to be part of this great play that, at least for me, has just begun. Even if I am just lying in a hospital bed, I am everywhere, and everything is me. Or so I feel like whenever I close my eyes.

I think what this compound truly does is allow me to show a side of myself that I'd usually not show or see myself. I am a very optimistic person, I tend to see everything with a positive outlook. It took an untested medical drug with unforseen changes to a human's brain chemistry before I would feel comfortable showing that side of myself. Right now I have all the excuses, and whatever I do I am not under the scrutiny of any judgment by anyone, be it medical doctors or the people around me. To think that in such an environment I would choose or allow myself to be nicer and happier is a very beautiful thing.

I would be happy to find out I had the placebo, because it would mean it doesn't take a drug to be this happy.

11:03
They can draw blood more easily now. My arm was way too cold. I didn't bring any sweater because it was so hot. Luckily they keep the hospital at a CHILLING 19°C. A girl offered me her sweater. Let's see if I'll freeze.

11:06
Thank you RO7268489 or placebo, you're very cool

11:16
I have the Impulse to play with string and my mind wanders off easily. Everything is kinda funny and I sound silly. I have trouble finding the right word for things, but it doesn't matter, hehe

11:20 (written afterwards)
I started laughing uncontrollably about nothing in particular. Just lying in bed, thinking to myself and being happy.

11:45
Gay means happ and im ao gay

12:57
It's over now. Going to have lunch soon which makes me very happy.

13:06
What I also observed or found interesting is how doctors and assistants noted very little / nothing down. I could sit here and laugh, or have obvious effects (as a possible result of the medication) and there would be no formal way of them noting that down. During the “wellbeing” I may report on what I experienced and will obviously mention the trance like state I found myself in, but the way I see it they think they'll mostly record things based off of blood samples, ECG records etc. Also I could just forget to report things during the wellbeing. Considering how many doctors surrounded me when I initially took it, I assumed someone would note everything I do 24/7.

17:24
Only 16 minutes until I can take a shower again. As someone working in IT, I can't say I've ever been more excited to take a shower in my life. They will take off the ECG suction cups, I will look like I was hugged by an octopus once again, and after my shower they'll put everything back on. Quite sad, to be honest, but it is what it is.

17:30
They just stripped a cut glove over the cannula so I can take a shower.

21:53
The busiest day is now over. What a day... I'll go to bed right away so I won't stay up as late as I did yesterday! Goodnight everynyan!

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