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08:10 (Continuation)

I was moving into the position, I was scared and shivering, even. I have to sit on the side of the hospital bed, my back bent in order to expose as much area of my lower upper back. In order to rest my head and not keep this position, they gave me a pillow to rest on. The issue was that I would then talk into the pillow and could not see the doctor in front of me to talk to. I suggested the same glasses as in an MRI in order to look at the doctor / anything during the procedure. In order to distract myself I began talking about Mastodon and the Fediverse as they told me they will begin with the anesthesia. A doctor / assistant in the room opened the app store some time during the procedure and even downloaded Mastodon as I would not stop talking about it. They cleaned the “workspace” (my back) more than would be necessary in a hospital, they told me, as they wrapped a sterile plastic bandaid (?) from shoulder to shoulder.

The doctor in front of me saw me grabbing the bed in fear, so they took my hand. The needle with the anesthesia was inserted after a quick notice of that happening. They informed me once more that this was the same anesthesia dentists use. I felt the prick, I felt it moving swiftly through areas of my body I've never welt anything before, then I felt less and less, until I felt nothing in that area. I would simply yap on about Mastodon and sometimes my birth place (east frisia) which also exists I the Netherlands (Friesland), but mainly Mastodon. The doctor in front of me kept asking what investors it has and what target group it was made for. I simply said that it is donation based and made for everybody. I tried to explain many concepts that I probably would've explained a lot better if it wasn't for a needle and god-knows-what to create a hole in spine currently happening behind me. Remember when teachers said “You should know this so well that when I call you at 3 in the morning you can respond to it at an instant?” I at least knew Mastodon so well I could respond to it with a school of doctors running around and yelling in Dutch. I truly wouldn't feel anything except for a push or pull. I didn't even know the procedure had begun. The doctors probably said so, I was just talking on and on about whatever came to mind. The doctor continued holding my hand and asking questions, as an assistant downloaded the app, or at least I think he did, because he loudly exclaimed “it's even on the app store”.

Around this time, I could not tell you when (probably after just a few minutes had passed, though I felt like I've been here either seconds or months), I felt something most humans will probably never feel. An echo inside of my body, originating not from my vocal chords, but my lower back. It began as a small jerk, as if something was pulled, yet it snapped back, and as a result I felt every bone once. An echo yet the chamber was the insides of my boney. The feeling didn't hurt, not at all, but it was disturbing and fascinating. The doctors said that it was nothing.

At this moment I had the idea of whether singing would help push the droplets of spinal fluid out faster, or whether something like that has been tried. I would want to ask a doctor whether we should try something like that next time. Although thinking about it now, I am not sure what to sing or whether I'd have the composure to sing during such a procedure.

Before I knew it, the main guy performing the sampling said “okay, I'm going to take the needle out” and all I could think about was “THERE WAS A NEEDLE INSIDE OF ME THIS WHOLE TIME?” I felt nothing. Really nothing. He pulled the needle out and I may have felt a little sting when it moved past my skin, yet I felt no pain, or at least far less pain than the cannula caused.

[To Be Continued]

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