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Stop-Doing-Meme: STOP DOING AGILE • REQUIREMENTS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO CHANGE EVERY TWO WEEKS • YEARS of ESTIMATING yet no real-world evidence of anything getting done faster • "In order to reduce process we add more process" —statement dreamed up by the UTTERLY DERANGED • POKER is a GAME not a PLANNING TOOL • T-shirt size estimation belongs in the CLOTHING STORE not SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT • "Points represent complexity, not time" YET YOU KEEP MEASURING HOW MANY POINTS FIT IN A WEEK?? • People who want to "BURN DOWN" belongs in JAIL not run software teams • Same goes for people doing GROOMING This is REAL SCRUM done by REAL scrum masters: Examples: 1. A burn-down chart showing two curves, one labelled IDEAL going down linearly, another labeled ACTUAL zick-zacking down a bit then rapidely going up. 2. Pie-Chart: 90% red labelled "Planning", 10% blue labelled "Work" 3. Sprint summary: Start: 50 points, Done: 70 points, Remaining: 100 points Each example is labelled "???" They have played us for absolute fools