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VIRTUAL SPRING Woman and man sitting in Adirondack chairs on their back porch as a leaf blower wails in the background REEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: The moment it’s warm enough to enjoy the spring, the leaf blowers start up. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: Not only are they loud, they’re poisoning workers with exhaust, spraying dust, allergens and fecal matter everywhere, and spewing tons of CO2 during a climate emergency. All to blow a few blades of grass off a driveway! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Man: What you need are noise-canceling earbuds and birdsong recordings to re-create the joys of a suburbanized spring. Softer REEEEEEE Woman, wearing earbuds with birds tweeting around head: Ah, the late anthropocene…