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   l (lebronjames75@shitposter.club)'s status on Wednesday, 06-Mar-2024 02:03:31 JST l

   in reply to
   @lain i saw an insane (pronounced: low-IQ) man last month
   
   here's the story:
   A man called in: "Hello i would like a spruce tree felled. How much"
   [...]"Probably 150-350€ based on your description, i can only tell when i see it"
   "ok, thanks for the info"
   
   a few days go by
   
   "Hello, I called regarding a spruce tree. Could you come take it down? It should be easy and cheap, the tree is tilted in the right direction for felling and i tried to fell it myself but you see, my chainsaw got stuck"
   "ok" (thats weird, but i have an assumption about the chainsaw)
   
   drive there, and pic related is what is the situation at hand
   
   tree is tilted STRONGLY towards a building (not towards the empty space)
   an electric chainsaw is stuck in the tree as pictured. (assumption from earlier correct)
   the tree is barely holding on from a tiny wooden hinge still left uncut.
   
   "what the fuck, this tree's gonna fall on your house if you cut it like this"
   "really :o ?"
   "remove the chainsaw from the tree"
   "but its stuck"
   "unscrew it from the saw bar"
   "ah"
   "you realize you were less than 2 seconds of cutting away from causing several thousand euros of property damage to your house right and it could even happen RIGHT NOW any second"
   "no"
   "yes"
   
   chainsaw removed from tree
   
   
   idea: throw rope over tree, pull tree over with rope in the right direction
   
   excecution: throw a throw-line over the ~~18m tall tree (a millimeter thin rope that supports about 60kg weight pull with a weight at the end of the rope).
   throwline throw was a failure, cant get it to come back down (too much friction over too many branches), pulling it back down, it gets stuck somewhere at the top of the tree
   
   try pulling throwline, tree moves back (just a little bit).
   
   tree wood hinge snaps when tree falls back into natural position (very slight movement)
   hold now-fully-loose-spruce-tree by a millimeter rope stuck somewhere in the canopy of the spruce probably just vaguely around a branch
   
   pivot spruce tree to side by holding on to the millimeter rope and rotating it around its base (very scary)
   
   tree BARELY falls sideways and misses the fence as the throw-line rope is being pulled in the direction away from the fence
   
   haha FUCK
   
   
   "how much money"
   "150€"
   "i only have 50€"
   "FUCK OFF GIVE ME 150€"
   "but i really dont have any more, can i do the payment in parts?"
   
   AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA