Ex-Meta - "I increased the spread of fake news 32%, sowed 56% more familial disharmony and personally helped to destabilise at least 2 global democracies." Ex-Amazon - "I made it easy to undercut and bankrupt small businesses, while also making it impossible to distinguish between thousands of cheap Chinese knockoff products." Ex-Palantir - "I helped kill a LOT of people." Ex-Spotify - "I've spent the last two years optimising how best to REALLY fuck over as many artists as humanly as possible." Ex-Netflix - "I made it 14% more difficult to decide what to watch of an evening and increased marital strife by at least 39%." Ex-Microsoft - "I kept a really low profile and waited for my shares to vest." Ex-Google - "No idea. What's your canteen like here?" Ex-X - "Please... I just really need a hug." Ex-Apple - A man with an Apple logo on his suit stands menacingly behind the designer. The designer says sweating "I'm, uh... not really at liberty to discuss it."
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