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tyrannosaurus-trainwreck : Okay it’s been several hours and I’m still not even slightly over this. Like, Jesus said “I am the resurrection and the life, except the resurrection bit is metaphorical, because I’m too swole to actually die.” “Pilate was surprised to hear that he was already dead. Summoning the centurion, he asked him if Jesus had already died. The centurion said to him, ‘Jesus is too shredded to kill, he’s like the Terminator, nothing can take him out.’ Pilate sent Joseph away with nothing, for Jesus was indestructible.” bemusedlybespectacled: I’m sorry I’m still stuck on the idea that Jesus couldn’t possibly be a “weak, frail, emotional man” when the shortest and best-known line in the Bible is “Jesus wept” and three out of four Gospels describe Jesus as being extremely emotionally upset and anxious in the Garden of Gethsemane, to the point that in Luke’s gospel he’s described as sweating blood The Gospel of Luke, according to this lady: Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him. Jesus said to them, “I’m honestly not even really bothered about this, but I’d appreciate it if you stayed up with me. You know, like a sleepover.” Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed