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   DemonMama (demonmama@masto.anarch.cc)'s status on Thursday, 06-Jul-2023 05:18:26 JST DemonMama

   I have been riding dangerously close to burnout lately and its been a huge struggle.

   This year has been a huge success for my channel. I just crossed 25 THOUSAND subscribers to my YouTube Show, people are loving my videos, and I feel that I've covered a lot of important topics and issues this year. Not only that, but I've somehow managed to reach a level of regularity with my content that most channels on youtube struggle with - a high quality video segment uploaded every single day with a unique, good-looking thumbnail.

   My personal life has also been exceedingly busy. This year alone I've traveled an insane amount, mostly by road for various reasons. Southern California, Utah, Canada. About 3,500 miles on road trips to put a number to it.

   So much rewarding experience in all that travel. I've had new foods, seen and recorded so many new birds (as many of you know, I LOVE birds + birdwatching), and I've started to delve back into interests I had to set aside in the past due to life circumstances throughout these travels.

   It has, nonetheless been incredibly intense and emotionally taxing to do so much travel.

   Lately I have found myself overwhelmed with fear and anxiety about "content". About how I can possibly keep up with the invisible boss of the algorithm. I keep finding myself slipping back into the work mentality that destroyed me in my early 20s, but minus the immediate tangible rewards and recognition.

   The truth is, I can't please the algorithm. Not forever, maybe not even right now even WITH all the successes I've been having.

   I'm proud of myself for keeping my streams and videos coming regularly this year and I realize I NEED to change my mental approach to this stuff or else everything my fans love me for will disappear from my work.

   People love my show and my streams *because* I do things differently, because I talk about things in a unique way and present my ideas unlike anyone else.

   Anyway, just needed to get these thoughts out somewhere I know they'll be appreciated. 🤘😈