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I literally don't know what to do to convince the Disability Lords in America that my disability is real.

Not even losing my job due to LongCovid and its complications is enough for them. They keep throwing out evaluations that prove my condition and denying my claim.

Now I have to push for an appeal before a judge, and wonder how the hell to get through that without ending up collapsed and worsening my condition.

It shouldn't be this hard to get support and care, but apparently it is.

Every step of the way is covered in red tape, requiring health that I simply don't have to keep up with the increasingly impossible demands to prove I'm ill enough to get disablity. And yet I'm too ill to do it all.

I expected the betrayal and backstabbing red tape from the government because that's what the system is designed to do.

The system is set up to KILL us.

And there's only what... five or so people in power (progressive democrats) who for the first time last year tried to fix all this shitty red tape (plus the fact disability payments isn't enough to live on or the fact we can't marry and other shitty restrictions that hurt us), but mostly Democrats killed it (we all expected Republicans to kill it, because they are ableist white supremacists mostly).

So yeah, excuse me that I don't trust any politician in America to give a shit about us.

But that's not the true source of why I'm angry -- sure I'm upset and angry I got the denial.

But I'm even more angry at how the majority of #Leftists and #Anarchists who OUGHT to be building communities of care that include disabled people....

.... just aren't doing it. They are leaving us to fucking die just like the rest of America. The futures they keep depicting? The meetings and conferences they make? Most aren't accessible AT ALL. That glaring lack of access tells folks like me how content these people are with throwing us away as useless for their future and movements.

So is it any wonder that disabled people are pissed off? Is it any wonder we lack trust in abled bodied people? Because y'all don't give a shit about whether we live or die. Your actions keep showing it.

I'm so angry.

Just so damn angry, because it's not just that I could lose my shelter and ability to exist in my own space.

But it's also because I know too many people who can't get on disability. Who can't get any help, who are losing their homes and jobs and who are dying.

And the fact that people claim to be for justice won't include us in their future? In their solidarity? Because they can't even bother to wear masks or do any pandemic mitigations or an accessibility to keep us safe? Because apparently being accessible is "too much work?" (A bullshit reason I've heard one too many times, plus the whole blaming their inability to do access on 'money' even if I offer solutions that was little to no cost).

Yeah. That is a big sign of how much these people don't care. How much they ate up eugenics.

So yeah. I'm angry.

I'm that angry disabled person at home too sick to go anywhere, who is homebound, who is isolated, who doesn't get to see people in real life for weeks unless it's a medical appointment (and even then I've often had to go virtual).

Society throws away disabled folks, and with each denial in my attempt (and the attempts of my fellow disabled folks) to get help, it's just another stab in the back, another blatant abandonment/neglect. Another reminder of how my life has no value because I can't produce for the Lords of Capital. As hurtful as this is at times, it's never as hurtful than those who claim to be allies to disabled people and yet do the same abandonment.

It's glaring and painful to see Leftists not engaging in community care that includes us. That is by far the worst betrayal of all.

I expected the government's betrayal.

But I foolishly keep having hope that Leftists or even fellow anarchists won't betray disabled people, and yet, they keep consistently doing so with the lack of pandemic mitigations, lack of other accessibility needs, and a lack of even checking in and supporting homebound disabled folks.

So yeah. I'm angry. Just so damn angry.

And it's so damn hard to hold onto hope when there's a whole country hellbent on yelling in my face that I have no worth unless I produce (which I can't right now).

Anyway, that's my rant of the month I guess.

Just please be accessible. Check in with disabled folks. Give a shit about us. And stop leaving us behind in your justice and solidarity and equity movements. Thanks.

#NEISVoid #AmericaIsAbleist #LeftistsStopBeingAbleist #Accessibility #CovidIsNotOver #Justice

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