Thinking a bit more, I don't think I actually need to have a hard "never use SO" rule.
What I can do instead is, default SO to tristated / JTAG mode.
And in a few specific commands like "query bootloader flash status" enable SPI mode on that pin (resetting jtag in the process due to the errata) and then immediately return to normal mode.
It means that single-stepping through that part of the code won't work, but I'll still be able to reset or power cycle the chip and have JTAG functional again for flashing or debugging of anything but the bootloader.
Lack of access to RFCs during the fiber cut (aside from the one I had already opened) slowed me down, but now I have SFTP working in basic write-only mode.
It doesn't actually do anything with the inbound data, so the next step will be bolting an ELF parser onto this so I can actually figure out what data has to get flashed where.
Mona has a free mode and a free trial of the full mode.
It is okay to pay for Mastodon apps though, because this is a sustainable way to fund their development. They generally don't collect data or show ads, so they depend on payments or donations to keep doing.
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