Notices by Paul Bassett Davies (thewritertype@mastodonapp.uk)

Holding COP28 in Dubai is like throwing a vegan-themed party for big game hunters in an abattoir.

Give a man a fish. Don’t try to teach him anything. Just let the poor guy eat his fish in peace. We’re all exhausted. Fuck it, let’s all give each other a fish, served with a nice cold Chablis and tiramisu for pudding. Let's eat together, talk and be human. Even if it's a dream.

Ha ha in the UK we turned our clocks back last weekend but the Americans are only just getting around to it! And they pronounce 'tomato' as 'elevator', and their word for 'trousers' is 'sidewalk'! It's like we're two totally different countries.

When a kid has an imaginary friend it can be cute. But when a powerful politician has an imaginary friend who guides all their decisions, with life changing consequences for the rest of us, and they call the friend god, and say he wrote a magic book, not so cute.

It's going to be heartbreaking when the old carpenter who made Elon Musk tells him he's not a real boy.

Think of a number. Don’t tell anyone what it is. Now think of all the other numbers you didn’t think of, and how they must be feeling. I hope you’re proud of yourself.

Eventually you have to accept that no matter how many different notebooks you buy, they won’t make you a better writer. For that, you need to spend a lot of money on the right pen.