@Becassine @TinyFern Abusers will employ these behaviours and the particularly bad ones do all of them. In my past relationship I experienced all of these

- Coersive behaviour (threats no matter how small)
- isolating you from friends and family (can be gradual for some), aiming to be the only person in your life, will often try to make this into a romantic you and me against the world thing, nobody cares about you only I do
- constant accusations and jealousy to make you prove yourself (I. E you're cheating because you spoke to the male clerk at the grocery store, you really better make it up to me now)
- love bombing and being overly praising every now and then to keep you there, but returning to treating you badly instantly afterwards
- making you feel crazy all the time. Always trying to convince you that your grasp on reality is wrong and that you are stupid for having any concerns or boundaries about anything
-repeated one liners that he drills into you with such repetition ie "I couldn't be a predator I'm attracted to older women too"
- ALWAYS projecting their behaviours onto you. Like when they describe you it's all things they have done to you and it's just surreal
- Triangulation, getting their friends or their enablers to gang up on you constantly. Villainising you to outsiders and victimising himself so that everyone joins in on the abuse. Getting other people to make you feel like you are crazy so you feel like if you left nobody will support you
-a smear campaign when you do leave spreading the most evil rumours about you
- an addiction (usually to pornography or alcohol) that they care about more than you
- "joking" about doing violent things to you, humiliating and abusive "pranks" that are totally just jokes
-grandiose sense of self, thinks they are superior to everyone (ie bragging about how smart he is, getting distracted because he looks at himself in the mirror all the time, catching him masturbating to pictures of himself)
- never genuinely apologises. Ever
-never comforts you when you are sad, in fact gets angry at your sadness because you are taking attention away from him
-assuming everyone is secretly as malicious as he is and that he is normal, so always accusing others of scheming against him
- being extra mean to you on special occasions, like your birthday or Christmas. Sometimes he will make you buy him something for your birthday just to rub it in
-not letting you get adequate sleep especially before a big event, waking you up and screaming at you over random shit
-hitting objects, breaking things, punching holes in walls, slamming cabinets, screaming, making you scared
-finding out he watches gore or edits pictures of you to be bloody and gorey
- hating other women, supporting other men who abuse (will never forget the day he said Chris Watts I think it was, the guy who murdered his wife and daughters to have an affair, was in the right) will blame other women and girls for their trauma no matter how young they were
- draining you in ever sense. Like you feel in a constant daze
- you might start experiencing physical symptoms from the stress of being with them (hair starts falling out, stomach ulcers, ovarian problems like cysts)
- general spiteful behaviour and life ruination if you try to leave
-ongoing stalking of you and again projecting believing you secretly watch them too and still care about them

This is just all I can think of at the moment but there is more