Notices by Xavier Horatio Xinicit (xinicit@beige.party), page 2

Referring to my caulk gun as my “oozy.”

I felt compelled to write about my experience meditating as someone with ADHD. I hope this helps.

https://buymeacoffee.com/xinicit/some-thoughts-on-adhd-meditation

It turns out that when you say “no weirdos” you only weed out the weirdos who are self aware

Out: Not celebrating our victories (no matter how big or small!)

In: “The gods may not notice and the crowds may not roar, but I know what this cost me and I wear laurels upon my soul!”

Not to brag, but a lot of people are concerned about me 💅

Some potatoes are white on the inside, and some are purple. Cats are mostly red.

#catsandpotatoes

Before you reply to someone, ask yourself, “If someone said to me what I’m about to say, how deep would I bury the body?”

They call me “The Ostrich,” because I’m dumb and can’t fly

Any crab can be a hermit crab if they live a simple life and follow the Lord

Thinking of rude rhymes isn’t easy
I’m actually a prude and it makes me queasy
I like laughs but don’t like to be sleazy
I prefer dad jokes though they’re usually quite emotionally unavailable

Can sheep think about themselves or does it make them sleepy?

Ya know what I haven’t thought about in a while? moosecop

It’s been hard for me to meet ladies who like to get freaky ever since Joann Fabrics closed

In Italy, there is a running competition where the contestants are given a laxative and have to jog 1.61 kilometers while keeping a polite grin on their face and their insides in. Nobody knows why they do it. That is the mystery of the Mona Lisa's Mile.

To you I may be a flaming paper bag, but inside I am a glorious pile of dogshit

Be the dumpster fire that lights the way

Being an American with a brain feels like being strapped to the hood of a car driven by a drunk driver who believes that if you die in a single vehicle roll over you go straight to Valhalla where Jesus will hook you up with some sweet babes