Notices by Uncle Duke :verified: (uncleduke1969@mstdn.party)

narrator: and what happened next surprised no one

i hope my mother-in-law is okay

“I don’t know why you don’t just leave him, Elaine.”

That lamp looks PISSED.

The book made it seem way cooler.

♫ We’re Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band ♫

and he would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for those meddling kids

“What news do you bring me from over the mountains, my little friend?”

“There is a great storm coming, you should find shelter soon. Also, I saw hunters camped in the valley.”

“Anything else?”

“Your mother wants to know if you’re eating enough. She says she worries about you.”

IN CASE OF FIRE:

1) If someone is on fire, punch them in the face.

2) Cop a feel off the person behind you, as these might be your last minutes on Earth.

3) Squeeze the junk of the person in front of you. It'll slow them down, allowing you to move ahead of them.

4) Exit.

Gosh dang it to heck! It’s the

existential crisis at the drive-thru

Possibly the most frightening talent of the brown bear is an uncanny ability to blend seamlessly into the environment in an almost chameleon-like manner, allowing them to easily surprise their unsuspecting prey.

they’ll figure it out if they get hungry enough