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Notices by False Knees (falseknees@mastodon.social)

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False Knees (falseknees@mastodon.social)'s status on Tuesday, 10-Feb-2026 06:48:13 JST False Knees

More hourlies
In conversation about a day ago from mastodon.social permalink
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False Knees (falseknees@mastodon.social)'s status on Wednesday, 04-Feb-2026 05:35:05 JST False Knees

Snowed In #oldknees
In conversation about 7 days ago from mastodon.social permalink
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1. Two crows are flying through a snowstorm. "I can hardly see a thing!" yells one, "We can't keep going like this!" The other one replies "Let's take a break!" They land in a snow-covered field, the snow is falling gently. "Oh!" exclaims one while looking around at the peaceful scene, "It's so beautiful when you aren't fighting against it."
  https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/116/008/271/850/599/309/original/e6fd40eb0107fa98.jpg
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False Knees (falseknees@mastodon.social)'s status on Monday, 02-Feb-2026 05:48:56 JST False Knees

Ferbruary #oldknees
In conversation about 9 days ago from mastodon.social permalink
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1. A downy woodpecker sits on a spruce on a sunny winter day. "Ahh... Febuary" it says. Close up on it correcting "Febrary" then "Febberary..." then finally "Frebrury"
  https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/115/997/209/425/969/401/original/b0d90aad4a47533a.jpg
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False Knees (falseknees@mastodon.social)'s status on Saturday, 24-Jan-2026 02:22:49 JST False Knees

Finished is better than terrible #oldknees
In conversation about 19 days ago from mastodon.social permalink
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1. A crow kicks a small ball of snow. They then start rolling it into a larger ball while saying "trust the process...". They kick more snow into a pile and stick a branch in repeating "trust the process" to itself. They place small stones. They say "Phew!" and stand back to look at its creation, which we see now is a mess of a project that looks somewhat like a melted bird. The final panel the crow says "haha it's terrible".
  https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/115/945/269/160/042/111/original/84a8e6af9ec73152.jpg
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False Knees (falseknees@mastodon.social)'s status on Thursday, 22-Jan-2026 00:49:16 JST False Knees

Coo coo
In conversation about 21 days ago from mastodon.social permalink
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1. We see two house sparrows drinking out of a puddle. The male says to the female: "Good puddle!" to which she replies "I love you but you have low standards". Pigeons arrive in the background, the female says "Ope! Here comes the herd" There is a long horizontal frame of the two sparrows in the midst of a bunch of pigeons cooing around them. The male then says "gentle giants" the female agrees "mhm" and then says "coo" and the male responds "haha. coo!"
  https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/115/933/693/645/112/937/original/6a1652fc966e87b7.jpg
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False Knees (falseknees@mastodon.social)'s status on Saturday, 20-Dec-2025 08:38:48 JST False Knees

Bitey
In conversation about 2 months ago from mastodon.social permalink
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1. "Do you remember what you were like when you were younger?" asks one crow to another as they are landing on wet snow. "Bitey" replies the second crow. "Right... but do you remember what it was like to BE you?" "What did you think about? Have you changed fundamentally? How can you really know?" The first crow is pondering. The background is a pattern of blue circles. "I guess I don't bite as much as I used to" answers the second crow. "You bite enough" says the first.
  https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/115/748/512/637/115/664/original/72204c7804c74289.jpg
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False Knees (falseknees@mastodon.social)'s status on Thursday, 27-Nov-2025 21:31:21 JST False Knees

Kneesvember 2025 Day 18
In conversation about 3 months ago from mastodon.social permalink
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1. We see Bagglyn and Grell following the red knight along the water's edge with greenery in the background. Bagglyn still has the arrow through her cap, and has now attached the yellow knight's sword to a rope around her belt and it is being dragged behind her. She is also now sporting the blue knight's discarded eye patch.
  https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/115/619/947/072/430/575/original/18c3d0a33d0b53fb.jpg
2. The solemn trio continued their queste upstream. "What cowardice on display from the Queen's supposed finest!" said the red knight. "How is it that two historians are braver than knighted warriors?" "This beats manual labour," said Grell. "–ah what my colleague means is that the strenuous transcribing of historical manuscripts is not for the faint of heart," Bagglyn was quick to add. "Quite," said the red knight, narrowing his eyes.
  https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/115/619/947/040/712/968/original/f3904dc6c0936974.jpg
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False Knees (falseknees@mastodon.social)'s status on Thursday, 17-Jul-2025 05:55:27 JST False Knees

Ew, It's Beautiful is out now! If you are in the US, Canada, or the UK, you can find a store to get it in here: https://site.andrewsmcmeel.com/ew-its-beautiful-incentive
In conversation about 7 months ago from mastodon.social permalink
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1. Domain not in remote thumbnail source whitelist: site.andrewsmcmeel.com
  
  Ew It's Beautiful Print Incentive
  
  from Andrews McMeel Publishing
  
  Fill out the form for a chance to win a downloadable print from Joshua Barkman.
2. Disclaimer: this comic is an ad for the release of my book, 'Ew, It's Beautiful' Panel one: My new book comes out today! Image of the book cover and a cartoonish crow Panel two: Buy it in a store! The crow asks an employee, Ted, of a bookstore "Can you direct me to the classic bird literature section?" Panel three: Borrow it from a friend! Ted and crow are fighting over a copy of the book in question. Ted exclaims "Hey! This is my personal copy!" Signs of altercation lie around them, his wallet and keys have fallen out of his pocket, an overturned book lies open. Panel four: Take it out from the library! A librarian is holding Ted's library card and says to the crow, who is taking the book out on loan "Enjoy your summer reading, Ted!" A computer on the desk dings with "BOOK LEND SUCCESSFUL" printed on the screen.
  https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/114/864/725/130/392/582/original/9660e11dcb0bb88e.jpg
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False Knees (falseknees@mastodon.social)'s status on Tuesday, 08-Jul-2025 05:23:11 JST False Knees

Improbably Compatible #oldknees
This is one of ~140 comic strips that are in my new book 'Ew, It's Beautiful', available for preorder now! https://site.andrewsmcmeel.com/ew-its-beautiful-incentive
In conversation about 7 months ago from mastodon.social permalink
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1. Two crows are flying in front of a gray-blue sky. One says to the other "Do you think we're best friends in other universes too?" The second panel splits into a three by three grid of different reactions of "Um"s and "Well"s from the second crow, in a multiverse sort of way. The third panel is further split again by three, so there are nine by nine squares of the same two crows flying together, the only distinction between the squares is a different sky colour. In the fourth panel, the square are again divided by three so there are now 27 by 27 filling the panel. We can see now that there is a greater pattern emerging from the colours of each square, a pixelated form is starting to emerge. In the fifth panel, the many many squares of different universes is reminiscent of a painting using pointillism, which each dot of colour represent one of many thousands of realities. We can see now very clearly that the pixelated forms are the two crows, flying in front of a gray-blue sky. We return to the visual resolution as we saw in the first panel, as if no time has passed at all. The second crow responds "It doesn't seem likely".
  https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/114/813/218/220/232/142/original/5c28e84627fd9c0a.jpg
2. Domain not in remote thumbnail source whitelist: site.andrewsmcmeel.com
  
  Ew It's Beautiful Print Incentive
  
  from Andrews McMeel Publishing
  
  Fill out the form for a chance to win a downloadable print from Joshua Barkman.
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False Knees (falseknees@mastodon.social)'s status on Friday, 04-Jul-2025 06:18:40 JST False Knees

Fledgling (13/14)
In conversation about 7 months ago from mastodon.social permalink
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1. Mama bird appears behind Fledgling "There you are!" she says, "all your down fell off... are you ok?". The chick has a thousand-yard stare and asks "mom... am I... food?". Mama bird responds "Aw, you're not to me" and to distract, asks "do you want some bug mush?" Fledgling emphatically replies "YAH"
  https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/114/790/123/915/893/629/original/5046700e4953361d.jpg
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False Knees (falseknees@mastodon.social)'s status on Monday, 30-Jun-2025 03:34:19 JST False Knees

Fledgling (11/14)
In conversation about 8 months ago from mastodon.social permalink
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1. Through Fledgling's half-opened eyes, we see the side of the goose's head with tree leaves above. The little chick comes to and panics as she realizes she is in the beak of a goose. She goes limp, dripping wet, as the goose steps onto the grassy shore. The goose sets Fledgling down, who is frantically flailing her feet. She sits, observing her surroundings, soaked. She looks up... and sees a heroic sight, the saviour goose, backlit in sunlight, has taken on an angelic appearance.
  https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/114/767/727/666/416/234/original/ffc19e5d03e6e3de.jpg
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False Knees (falseknees@mastodon.social)'s status on Sunday, 29-Jun-2025 23:07:39 JST False Knees

(10/14)
In conversation about 8 months ago from mastodon.social permalink
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1. The Canada goose sips its head below the surface of the water to get a look at the helpless chick. It stretches its neck down and opens its beak wide. "No no no!" thinks Fledgling, "Come back, weird smooth birds!". The final panel we see the goose's butt shaking above the surface of the water.
  https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/114/756/173/374/992/889/original/1a5b22e6f7d7ede0.jpg
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False Knees (falseknees@mastodon.social)'s status on Thursday, 26-Jun-2025 01:32:28 JST False Knees

(9/14)
In conversation about 8 months ago from mastodon.social permalink
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1. One of the two fish tugs at a distressed Fledgling's leg, while the other one shows surprise as if it sees something. The fish flee, leaving a perplexed chick. She looks on to see the webbed feet of a beast arriving on the surface of the water. A water-distorted Canada goose peers down at her.
  https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/114/744/913/086/688/178/original/32a3d2671c9c3f9d.jpg
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False Knees (falseknees@mastodon.social)'s status on Tuesday, 24-Jun-2025 01:26:52 JST False Knees

(8/14)
In conversation about 8 months ago from mastodon.social permalink
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1. "Wah!" screams Fledgling, splashing on the surface of the pond. "What is this sensation?" she thinks to herself as she sinks lower. She slips under the surface, bubbles of air rising. She looks down to the dark bottom and sees two fish inspecting her. "Oh!," she thinks "more weird birds!"
  https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/114/733/420/709/516/387/original/a7e3faf132b64545.jpg
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False Knees (falseknees@mastodon.social)'s status on Sunday, 22-Jun-2025 07:52:25 JST False Knees

(7/14)
In conversation about 8 months ago from mastodon.social permalink
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1. Mom bird pokes her head in to the nest to ask the two remaining chicks "Where's your sister??". One says "sister..." the other "uhh". "She said something about wanting to be interesting? so we would like her more?" "Which is weird because we love her even if she is super boring". Mom yells "where did she go?!" They reply "def heard her fall off the nest" "big time... I don't mind taking her cut of the warm bug mush" says one sibling, holding her beak up expectantly. "Hey! we agreed we would share!" says the other, off panel.
  https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/114/722/287/994/547/226/original/16230909b008ea42.jpg
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False Knees (falseknees@mastodon.social)'s status on Thursday, 12-Jun-2025 03:50:58 JST False Knees

(2/14)
In conversation about 8 months ago from mastodon.social permalink
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1. Part two of Fledgling. The oriole chick siblings are discussing in the background "Did you know we're orange from all the fruit we eat?" "I know all the same facts that you do" Meanwhile, Fledgling thinks to herself "I need to meet other birds". She starts climbing up the wall of the nest with a 'hup!'. Her head pokes above the top of the nest and she is squinting hard. "There's absolutely no reason for it to be this bright".
  https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/114/665/838/087/843/572/original/314a20e3e5cb7e03.jpg
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False Knees (falseknees@mastodon.social)'s status on Tuesday, 20-May-2025 09:56:56 JST False Knees

#oldknees
In conversation about 9 months ago from mastodon.social permalink
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1. A group of crows are gathered and chatting. "Thanks for comic everyone! Who'd like to start? Alessandro?" "Sure!" says Alessandro "For this week's flower share I brought an apple blossom! Delicate, simple in form, modest and subtly charming". They are all admiring the flower at Alessandro's feet. "Pretty" says one. "Beautiful specimen!" continues the first crow, "One of my favourites. Thank you for sharing! Who'd like to go nex–" they are interrupted by a loud clearing of a throat. "AHEM". The group of crows looks up to see another crow, perched on a branch nearby. It swoops down, something in its talons. It lands the the middle of the group in a dramatic way, to reveal the most perfect example of a magnolia flower. The group stares in an entranced silence. The strange crow declares "I didn't prepare a speech".
  https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/114/536/121/573/810/549/original/ba1513dcfed91373.jpg
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False Knees (falseknees@mastodon.social)'s status on Saturday, 17-May-2025 08:51:22 JST False Knees

Little Knees
In conversation about 9 months ago from mastodon.social permalink
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1. A pair of goldfinches perched together, looking down. The male says "I know I've said you'd have to be delusional to think this, but... there has never been anything cuter in all of time". We see their perspective, a newly hatched chick, wheezing, with wrinkly eyes and a small featherless body and a tuft of down on the top of its head sticking straight up. The female says "She has your eyes", the male says "and your sinus infection". The chick lets out a faint squeak.
  https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/114/520/146/025/749/633/original/8c7c19a10c105827.jpg
2. Painting of my human baby girl with the text: I am supremely delighted to announce an addition to the False Knees family! I won't disclose her name, but I will say that my proposals 'Blackburnian Warbler' and 'Semi-palmated Plover' were both vetoed by my partner. Sigh.
  https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/114/520/146/343/632/867/original/a66ce330ef671580.jpg
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False Knees (falseknees@mastodon.social)'s status on Saturday, 26-Apr-2025 09:07:53 JST False Knees

The Warden Warbler
In conversation about 10 months ago from mastodon.social permalink
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1. A yellow warbler perched on a branch says to new leaves: "Coming along nicely... keep it up!". The warbler lifts a dead leaf off of a seedling "there you go, little one". Warbler is perched on a different tree where leaves have not started to come out yet "It's time to wake up, leaves!" It then says to itself: "Good thing I'm keeping an eye on these guys"
  https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/114/399/617/653/376/038/original/83b2710d9f118127.jpg
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False Knees (falseknees@mastodon.social)'s status on Wednesday, 23-Apr-2025 07:31:54 JST False Knees

Puffin's Bluff
In conversation about 10 months ago from mastodon.social permalink
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1. A puffin stands on the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean. "I always thought I'd get wiser and braver with time... but I'm only becoming more neurotic". We see its perspective, looking down at the rough water below. "Why am I like this? Does it help me?" A close up of the puffin's face, looking momentarily cheerful. "Maybe overthinking IS wisdom! I AM the contemplative figure, gifted with great insight". They look down again "...and nervous bowels".
  https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/114/383/656/951/399/227/original/8afde2730b01d2c5.jpg

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Member since: 26 Jan 2025

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