Notices by Jon Baker (jonbaker@mastodon.social)

From the makers of Thank God It’s Friday, here comes Fucking Hell It’s Only Tuesday

FHIOT everyone!

I would like to opt out of finding out, I was not doing any of the fucking around

The next secretary of education is just going to be a gun

Every day we stray further from god’s light

GOOGLE 2004: Don’t be evil

GOOGLE 2024: Don’t be useful

Please don’t ever give me a houseplant I can barely keep myself alive most days

Me, all day every day:

THERAPIST: Tiny Legs Michael Jackson isn’t real. He can’t hurt you

TINY LEGS MICHAEL JACKSON:

Jingle Bell Rock implies the existence of Jingle Bell Paper and Jingle Bell Scissors

The War on Christmas, for less!

Save Money. Live Better. Walmart.

I have no idea who is responsible for this, but hang this shit up next to the Mona Lisa

I think one thing that gets overlooked about The Devil Went Down To Georgia is the Devil went *down* to Georgia

Implying Georgia is below hell

She cannot stop her rampage once the bloodlust takes hold, only run out of things to kill

Finally a job I’m qualified for

COMIC: The Whey

This is The Whey

#comic #webcomic #comicstrip #AlarminglyBad #MastoArt #Mandalorian #funny

Literally everything and everyone is hyperbole

ME: Time to fight fire with fire

POKÉMON GYM LEADER: Are you even taking this seriously?

BROKE: Selling your soul

WOKE: Buying up all the nearby souls, leaving about half of them unused, and steadily jacking up soul rental prices to hardworking demons

I’m pretty sure Elon Musk would have lost less money if he bought all the ad time on the Super Bowl just to show people pictures of his butthole

These mazes aren’t even trying. Literal easy mode.