Notices by Nege Q. Public :raccoon_junk: (theynege@beige.party)

This #InternationalAsexualityDay, let's review some facts about how aces can be treated negatively in both queer and straight environments, as well as things that *aren't* acephobic.

Things that are discriminatory or exclusionary against aces:
- Leaving asexuality out of sexual education
- Blanket statements like "everyone is a sexual being"
- Dismissing asexuality as a valid orientation
- Claiming aces are never discriminated against
- Treating aces as "hetero lite"
- Saying it's just a phase or due to mental health barriers
- Shutting down any discussion when the topic of asexuality comes up
- Virgin shaming or suggesting that someone's problems are caused by not getting laid
- Sexual advances intended to seduce someone or prove they're not ace
- Counselling that seeks to change someone to no longer identify as ace
- Marriage consummation laws/practices in both civil and religious contexts
- Being JK Rowling (apparently)

Things that are NOT discriminatory or exclusionary against aces:
- Promoting awareness of sexual health
- Fighting sexual stigmas
- Advocating for sex workers' rights
- Creating environments for safe sexual exploration and interaction
- Counselling that affirms someone's sexual needs are valid
- Sexual expression and discussion in consensual environments where it is easy to opt out
- Ending relationships because of sexual compatibility concerns
- An individual no longer identifying as ace if their experiences lead them to that conclusion

Aces can get excluded from queer environments because of assumptions of prudishness or elitism or dismissing that it's a real orientation that people simply are. But asexuality is a minority orientation just like lesbian, gay, bi, or pan. Our needs and experiences are different but complementary; sexual diversity is the strength of the community after all.

There is significant overlap with aces and other queer identities, like aces with gay/bi/pan romantic orientations (feeling romantic connection without an associated draw towards sex), or trans/nonbinary/gender nonconforming aces. Cutting us off from expressing one side of ourselves because it's not sexy enough or can (allegedly) be easily hidden is dividing a community that should be united.

Reminder that if you see a trans person's deadname (or really any person's name you don't already know them by) through indirect means because of all the places we have to use "legal names" or names slapped onto bank accounts: no you didn't.

I have had situations where I had to use PayPal or some other thing that had my legal name on it to send someone something, and in return I got the childish taunting "ooohh, I know your real name now" with a threat—or action—of calling me that over and over again to rub it in. That is outright bullying and makes me anxious to give mutual aid sometimes, which makes the world worse for everyone. Don't be that person.

Here's an attempt at thinking more positively.

The other day my brother and I were talking about movie rentals, and how the span of time those were relevant (between the critical mass of home VCRs and widespread adoption of streaming services) was only 20-25 years.

They seemed huge at the time—whether major chains like Blockbuster or the local independent ones that were charming spaces to patron and kept local subcultures together—but are a foreign idea to younger people, because they're really quite irrelevant now.

Things can come and go within our lifespan, including shitty periods of time. Not every change will be permanent.

Mussolini was in power for less than 25 years. Hitler for barely over 12. The Confederate South only had a 4 year stint.

A lot of people lived through these times, and suffered, but survived. We can hope this period of time will be shorter, but even if it feels like it's dragging on long, we can make it through to see a time where these maggots appear as common as Blockbuster stores today.

The extremely boomer reaction to any vague cultural criticism of "then DO SOMETHING about it!!!!!!!!!!" is such a self-absorbed and misinformed attitude as if all you see on social media is all a person is doing. If you have maladaptive poster brain because you didn't use the internet before Facebook marketed to your demographic and you got sucked into a vacuum of misinformation and cyclonic complaining, then you do not currently have an adequate perspective to say that shit. A lot of us are indeed "doing something about it" like existing and organizing and volunteering, but the only thing this mentality accepts is calling small businesses and demanding to speak to managers or hijacking town halls like Parks & Rec extras. It's beyond even the "go vote" strategy. Just useless and incorrect.

Cis people: omg you transeses are OBSESSED with gender!
Also cis people: every third document you touch in your everyday life must have either an M or F box checked and we need to see legal proof.

I'm glad I swiped one last record from my parents' house before they move. (Spoiler for surprise.)

I have this in my head this morning. I would boost it, but alas it was posted to since-deceased strangeobject.space. It seems unsuiting to post it again fresh. (cw: lewd)

Do we have any bird fans on the fediverse?

Yet again,

@Aleums imagine if a mysterious stranger popped out from behind a curtain and put two (2) drops of poison in a wine glass, and imagine if that person ALSO identified with the same gender they were assigned at birth. Horrifying. Nobody's drink is safe around the cis.

Monetize shutting the fuck up.

Well, if you need a mood lifter at one in the morning central standard time, here is what I did Monday morning.