Notices by Col (kibcol1049@mstdn.social), page 2

Good news for London's butterflies! After Transport for London doubled the amount of wildflowers growing along its roadsides in just two years – covering an area roughly the size of 100 Trafalgar Squares – butterfly sightings have jumped by more than 50%. Safe to say the butterflies are loving their new commute.

Chemist: I was closing. What do you need?
Me: I think I'm a moth.
Chemist: Why come to me?
Me: Your light was still on.

Little girl: Dad, do all fairy-tales begin with "once upon a time?"
Dad: No, some begin with "If elected l promise..."

Winning doesn’t always mean being first. Winning means you’re doing better than you’ve done before.
Bonnie Blair

The US military has launched a new wave of attacks against Iran amid the escalating standoff over the strait of Hormuz, with Tehran saying the latest strikes had “rendered futile” all the diplomatic efforts of the past few months.

Senior police figures and politicians have warned against speculation during the murder investigation into Ann Widdecombe’s death, after detectives said there was “nothing to suggest” political motivation.

Can rice really fix a phone dropped into water? Sorry no, and it can probably cause more damage. Apple officially says not to put your iPhone in a bag of rice, because tiny grains and starchy dust can sneak into the charging port and other openings. The real fix is to power it off, tap the port downward to shake out the water, then stand it by a desk fan. Patience beats rice every time.

For years, those “turn off your mobile phone” signs at petrol stations had folks treating a text message like it was a tiny fire demon in their pocket. But researchers have tried to make phones ignite petrol fumes. On purpose, in labs, but no boom. They discovered what really causes those very rare petrol station fires is static electricity built up from sliding in and out of car seats! "Sit still in the back kids!"

More than 100,000 people with ADHD are being paid disability benefits without any requirement to look for work, an increase of 40% since Labour came to power. The surge is being driven by increasing numbers of young people receiving the benefit, with more than half of claimants aged between 16 and 24.

On "Take your child to work day", his young daughter looked around and started crying.
"Where are all the clowns you said you work with?"

Apparently last Monday was National Say Something Nice Day. Clearly, many missed that. Now we have to wait another year for the next one.

A Jamaican man who has lived more than half his life in the UK is facing deportation to his home country in one of the first cases since new anti-immigration measures were announced in last week’s immigration bill.

A British charity is funding a religious school at the heart of expansion plans for the illegal Israeli settlement in the Palestinian city of Hebron.

Emma Raducanu, says Giles Coren in The Times, has perfectly timed the leg injury that ruled her out of Wimbledon. Had it happened a few days earlier, the stress fracture might have interfered with her extremely lucrative work for sponsors Uniqlo and Evian, the launch of her new “Garden of England” scent range, or her exciting paid partnership with Tesco. Thankfully, the injury came along “just when she was about to take a few days off anyway to play tennis”.
A bit cynical Giles!!!

A van driver in Thanet, Kent gave a lift to an armed policeman chasing down a suspect. The motorist told the panting copper to “get in the back” and then sped down the street to cut off the wanted man, who was duly arrested. “Glad I could be of service,” the unnamed driver said afterwards. “That was quite exhilarating.”

One of India’s most prominent political prisoners, Umar Khalid, has been held in prison without trial for almost six years. Khalid has talked about the state of the country’s opposition, becoming an unwilling symbol of resistance, and finding solace in the quiet of his cell.

I was thinking about going on a diet, but I have too much on my plate right now...

Me as a kid: Falls 10 feet from the climbing frame - just bounce back up.
Me now: Tried to scoop ice cream that was just a little too frozen and I dislocated my shoulder!

Donald Trump has again been accused of “brazen crypto corruption” after financial disclosures revealed his family’s cryptocurrency ventures generated more than $1bn.

The month of June was the warmest in England on record, driven by a searing heatwave in the final days of the month, according to Met Office data.