Notices by Max Leibman (maxleibman@beige.party), page 2

Maybe CEOs should carry bulletproof backpacks.

I mean, yeah, it’s a really stupid idea, but it was a really stupid idea when it was proposed as a remedy for school shootings, too, and people still said it then.

En flique.

Be the apocryphal motivational quote you wish to see in the feed.

This year really could have been an email.

@RickiTarr “Is women’s money different from men’s?” is exactly the question. Misogyny trumps even capitalism.

Many have observed it, but my favorite source is Tom Peters—an aged cishet white male management consultant—who introduced me to the concept twenty years ago: women buy Damn. Near. Everything. The majority of purchasing decisions, business and personal, are either made directly by or strongly influenced by women.

That marketing dollars chase men so hard is absurd. But they do.

Reflecting on this Christmas, I feel like I’ve been neglecting what’s most important: sitting in front of a computer, alone.

The price of panels has come down so much that it’s now cheaper for Santa to leave solar in naughty children’s stockings.

He sees you when you’re sleeping
He knows when you’re awake
He know if you’ve been bad or good

Because he has your search history and telemetry from your phone.

Men are often told that we aren’t good at coping with our feelings, but I want to discuss the real issue, which is that feelings are stupid.

My screenplay? It’s a lighthearted coming-of-age story where a mother and daughter bond over cooking while she helps the daughter navigate romance before the big dance.

You know, a nom nom mom prom rom com.

Content creator? No, I’m more of a vaguely dissatisfied creator. Or sometimes even an agitated creator.

If your god is powerless to stop school shootings, I don’t think we need to teach his dumb book in public schools.

While many of us in the west recognize December 16th as John Mastodon Day, note that December 17th is the Eastern Orthodox John Mastodon Day. Be sensitive to people who don’t celebrate how you do.

#JohnMastodonDay

I don’t know who Warren Christmas is, but Bill O’Reilly seemed really mad at him.

I may be in middle age, but I have the physique of a much younger man who really didn’t look after himself very well.

Men will literally be visited by three spirits instead of going to therapy.

#AChristmasCarol #Scrooge #therapy

You better watch out
You better not cry
You better not pout
I’m telling you why:

Toxic masculinity forbids displays of emotion

Let’s put alt text on so many images that they have to start calling it mainstream text.

#accessibility

Look, I admire the initiative, but it would be much more efficient to implement single-payer health care than to shoot everyone in the health insurance industry one at a time.

Hey, everyone—it’s flu season again! Make sure you’ve been vaccinated against influencers.