Notices by josh buermann (buermann@mastodon.social)

The US blocking the strait for Iran will show Iran who is boss alright.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/live/2026/apr/12/middle-east-crisis-live-us-iran-pakistan-peace-talks-jd-vance-delegation-leaves-without-a-deal

Trump can keep the markets up by putting Israel in its place but they also need to maintain a sufficient state of emergency to keep Bibi out of Maasiyahu, so this tedious shit will become routine and the press will turn it into an enigmatic unsolvable puzzle that is all Iran's fault.

Makes you miss Tom Ridge's orange alerts.

Iran said when the ceasefire was announced it would not agree to a ceasefire and open the strait without Israel ceasing fire in Lebanon, so the Epstein war news of the day is a rerun of Bart's Dog Gets an "F": the United States yanked its dog's chain and the dog obeyed.

https://www.marinetraffic.com/en/ais/home/centerx:56.3/centery:26.1/zoom:8

TACO blockade sends S&P to record open: "Iraq-bound supertanker Agios Fanourios I has sailed into the Persian Gulf through the Strait of Hormuz on its second attempt, making it the first crude carrier to head west since a US blockade on Iran’s ports came into force."

https://www.straitstimes.com/world/middle-east/iraq-bound-tanker-sails-into-gulf-after-second-attempt-at-hormuz

"So I told JD" *puff* "to tell Iran" *puff* "that Iran can't close the straights" *puff* "because Donald J Trump closed the straights." *puff*

Anyone who filed a US tax return ought to feel personally insulted by the way Israel brags about its ongoing war crimes during its fake ceasefires:

"Israel has shared satellite imagery showing entire neighbourhoods levelled in southern Lebanon."

https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2026/5/1/woman-killed-children-injured-as-israel-attacks-lebanon

I paid zero attention to this week's instant replay of last week's events, but apparently the "ceasefire" has been extended indefinitely along with the blockade that violates the ceasefire, thus the straits remain closed indefinitely.

Trump imposes his blockade on the strait to pressure Iran to open the strait. Iran keeps the strait closed to pressure Israel to cease firing on Lebanon. Trump pressures Israel to stop firing on Lebanon in order to open the strait. Israel stops firing on Lebanon. Iran opens the strait. Trump continues blockading the strait, unilaterally violating his own ceasefire. Iran closes the strait again.

https://apnews.com/article/us-iran-war-israel-hormuz-18-april-2026-ab475cb979825b956a10d60103026b37

The bit where Elon's firm that keeps promising to send things to Mars but has never sent anything to Mars is getting fast tracked onto the exchanges before it ever sends anything to Mars seems on par for a stock market whose value is pegged to speculative valuations of various manifestations of vaporware.

Elon said he would send rockets to Mars every 26 months since 2018 and has sent zero, that makes it a growth stock.

https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/tesla-s-elon-musk-we-intend-launch-people-mars-2024-n584451

@inthehands

https://mastodon.social/@buermann/116422930214573337

@inthehands

I wonder what happened last year that I missed the good news.

@inthehands

Flint got clean drinking water? I thought Elon Musk bailed on that promise long before he illegally cancelled USAID.

Elon promised us $5,000 DOGE rebates and if we liquidated his entire fortune we could recover ten cents on the dollar of that unmentionable empty promise.

https://mashable.com/article/elon-musk-failed-to-deliver-on-2025-promises

Politico estimates that DOGE has managed -- in the process of destroying multiple avenues of American cultural power projection abroad, sentencing millions to early graves, and aborting much of America's investments in the scientific enterprise -- to save a whole $1.4B, enough savings to afford a tax credit of...

Seventeen dollars and seventy two cents for 79 million qualifying households.

https://www.politico.com/news/2025/08/12/trump-doge-contract-claims-savings-inflation-00498178

Where's our $5,000 checks from DOGE?

https://www.axios.com/2025/02/19/musk-doge-dividend-check

DOGE delegated gutting $100M from the National Endowment for the Humanities to ChatGPT, then Trump's acting chairman redirected the money to pet causes and personal friends, with $10M going just to Elliott Abrams' Tikvah Fund, amounting to an eight figure taxpayer grant to the neoconservative movement that Trump allegedly ran against and now serves.

https://archive.is/9kCcq

America bombed a girl's elementary school this morning and murdered dozens and dozens of children for no reason.

https://abc7ny.com/live-updates/iran-live-updates-trump-says-major-combat-operations-have-begun/18660347/entry/18661061/

Edging out an Islamic State group's bombing of Sayed al-Shuhada High School in Kabul in 2021 to take 8th place among the worst school massacres in history, MAGA is now responsible for murdering over one hundred grade school girls in Iran.

Another 40 bodies and he'll beat al-Shabaab's 2015 massacre at Garissa University in Kenya.

https://www.ft.com/content/055d7ee1-0002-4d86-931f-18f4687d4f8b
https://archive.is/rjCve

Death toll in the MAGA-Zionist school bombing in Iran has risen to over 80 children.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/trump-israel-launch-massive-strike-111648511.html