Notices by cyber angel ambrosia 💫 (anna_ambrosia@oomfie.city), page 2

ending 587: barron trump takes his fathers toupee & vows to use it for good not evil . while on campaign tour in new mexico a drug induced religious experience reforms him . he devotes his life to developing the SkibidiPub federation protocol (written in rust), believing the Saturnians will rescue him from earth upon its completion. one night he gets a bug in his code, gets really drunk, & walks into the desert. hundreds of years later hitchhikers see him at night , glowing , talking to himself , flickering like pale blue fire

if FEDI was in MIDDLE SCHOOL

trumpetsrock23@bandkid.social: bro dennis left his backpack in the aisle again & i tripped & he laughed at me !!! least problematic trombone player!
🗨️ 1 🔁 0 ⭐ 2 😥 1

admin@mathclass.rocks : fediblocking foodfight.city for Anti Algebra statements . our users keep getting nerd reacted . disappointing.
🗨️ 15 🔁 2 ⭐ 3 🤓 12

fentnation@foodfight.city : this cats name is poop tumor look him up on your school computer
🗨️ 6 🔁 33 ⭐ 25

revolutionary social network idea i came up with. downside of fedi is other people . right? they wrench react you, fedibloxk you, call you slurs.

all this is avoidable w the power of AI.

consider a world where everyone runs their own single user instance with federation turned off. each instance has one real user (the admin) & like 400 or so chatbots. the admin can think up whatever shitposts they like, & all the chatbots will regort & frank it up, & blobcat react, etc. & some can be tsundere so it feels meaningful

& maybe a couple of them can repost 2010 twitter jokes so you have something entertaining on your timeline

i feel like this would fix fedi tbh .....

[ID: screenshot of a fedi post]

@ sunless @ diana.killkillkill.online 🔒
oomf erotic.... uuaahh !! oomf tummy ... oomf thhighs ....
( 🔧 5) (❌1) ( :blobcatanimeeyes: 1 )

(freeze frame) in the late 2030s , the public sphere was still very unaccepting of these visionaries. many of them were driven to "alt fedi" - seeking refuge on akkoma , daioma , & blubblubkey . remember - at this time , bombs were lighting up the western seaboard. the world was unstable.

(class full of students taking notes.)

alright... next slide please............

[ID: screenshot of a fedi post]

@ diamondbliss @ paradisia.city

bro ... ehat the fuarrrk is a grongo ....

faintly: "glad u asked! 😃 a grongo is a .... "

what was that? what was that? did you hear that? everyone be quiet!

"... the grongogang is LOVE! 💕 its about spreading those grongy vibes near & far, ...."

get ready. its nearby. (click) (click) (click) (click) (click)
( ⭐ 2 ) ( 🔁 0)

(an impressed murmur sounds from the class. this was something dynamic. ahead of its time.)

ℹ️ did you know?

we have been watching you for quite some time. you have not been aware. you have felt something - maybe - but you have not known.
we are not there when you stare & shine lights. we exist only mistlike, in the corner of your eyes. we drift in & out of this world.

one oomf two oomf red oomf blue oomf african-american oomf blue oomf old oomf new oomf
this one has a little car
this one has a little star
say! what a lot of oomfs there are !

bro... did you just say the n word...?

thats not cool.... geez....

hey anna nation!

since i shitpost instead of vaguely liveblogging or whatever, i thought i would let you know what its like to be me!! as a little behind-the-scenes ^^

(red curtain draws back, revealing title: A DAY IN THE LIFE - ANNA ANIMA. there is no sound)

well , first i wake up every morning to the sound of birds outside my window (anna on screen yawns & stretches. "what a beautiful day!") . then after a refreshing shower , i have breakfast (anna makes a plate of toast & eggs . they are clearly plastic props) & head to school! (anna waits for a stupid-looking anthropomorphic school bus . it js a beautiful sunny day)

thrn after a long day spent on education (anna is asleep in class) i head home & do my homework. (anna is scribbling in an empty notebook, but it looks like schoolwork from the camera angle) . then i go straight to bed! (anna yawns , & shuts off her light)

(lightning flashes , & the room lights up in an inverted black & white color scheme. the walls & ceiling are writhing with ghosts)

fedi in 2100: today i will join a misskey instance!
umm ... didnt you hear?? its called MxKey now !!!!!!! (vine boom)
wtf!!! 😨 what about glitch-soc??
umm.... actually , its glitch-thigh-highs!!!!! (vine boom)
wtf ... 😰 what happened to pleroma ?

2025 May 14th. i remember where i was. i was in the supermarket, & the music stopped - it was drake they were playing. ill never forget that. the music stopped & they made the announcement. & we wandered into the street , shells of ourselves

bumber sticker rhat says "NO baby on board - feel free to crash :)"

(upset) & they- they;re called "daft 'punk'" despite them clearly playing electronica !!!!

my name is anna anima .... i am not recording this message under duress of any kind .... i am in sound mind & body ....

i have been inactive for some time . I have been the guest of my good friend GRONGOSMILES ... i have been fed , i have been allowed to shower ....

it is currently unknown when i will return ... negotiations with oomfie ☆ city officials have been promising thus far .... i will hold out hope .

please tell my oomfies i miss them very much . they are in my thoughts & prayers ....

END OF TRANSMISSION

REPOST TO PRAISE GRONGO AND RECEIVE BLESSINGS 🙌🙏✨️❤️

geeble snabbledorp! 👽 blepborp xa "nigga"

(first day on xnfm , trying to fit in): "girl who is 30 years old 😍"

you dont get to 55 followers w/out making some enemies ... :amongusdrip_blue:

no one knows what its like to be a girly boy ... #feels

im a girlthing , & im a femcel . nyx land is my savior . slimegirls are my favorite . i wanna browse xenofem.me . i like whats on the ccru . kill kill kill kill . rot is good . accelerate me . accelerate me again

yall ... just had an america moment!!!!

>be me
>car low on gas
>park at gas station & go inside to buy some gas
>walk back out
>army of gnomes disassembling my car, only thr chassis is left
>i run at them & they jump into a nearby sewer drain

has this ever happened to you??? 🤦♀️

(mumbling) life is like a video game ... trying hard to beat the stage ...

distant sounds of traffic . the radiator hums.

you're cold . you miss her

ladies if your man
- is christian
- LARPs as Roman
- centered in constantinople

thats not your man - thats the BYZANTINE EMPIRE !!!!!!! :byzantine_empire_flag: :byzantine_empire_flag: :byzantine_empire_flag: ‼️