Notices by Robin DeRosa (actualham@social.coop), page 2

I was wondering how to work a Don DeLillo scene into this thread. Well the universe just delivered:

Man, to gate agent, “We are connecting on our way to Portugal.”

Man’s wife: “We are going to Puerto Rico.”

Man: “…”

I have been wearing a mask for 5.5 hours. If I were MAGA I would have asphyxiated on my own CO2 by now. 😅

I just took my noise canceling headphones off for a minute. In the words of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, “Big mistake. Huge.”

I see a tunnel with a light at the end of it!! Am I dead??

I have boarded! Full plane, very germy, maximum fun. See y’all in the Midwest, punks!

Just kidding. Pilot just came on to tell us one of the engines is…I think he said…broke.

As soon as they FIX THE BROKE ENGINE we will be on our way, folks!

I am thinking of telling them I am an EMT in case they want me to have a look under the hood

Oh lord we’re still on the tarmac and they are handing out free snacks IF YOU KNOW AIRPLANES LIKE I KNOW AIRPLANES THEN YOU KNOW BAD SIGN

I see a guy with a wrench walking around down there. Like someone’s cousin offered to see what he could do

It’s weird how at this point like 99% of us would vote to just take off, bad engine and all, and just take our chances.

Pilot just announced another 20-30 minutes. Maybe. I digress from this lighthearted thread about delays and decapitation to say in all seriousness

American air travel is inhumane, and as physically and emotionally rigorous as almost anything.

And now I’m back to lighthearted posting when I say that they are testing the engine “by giving it a few good revs.”

😬

I don’t think the revs were good enough 🫤

Guy With A Wrench is now in the cockpit talking to the pilot (his cousin?). Seems like not a good sign.

Confirmed: the Wrench Guy could not fix it. They are trying something else for 20-30 mins and then I’m likely looking at deplaning and the complete annihilation of any spirit I had left in me.

The Apple FlightTracker says I am now “en route.”

Yeah, and Pilot Godot is at the wheel.

Godot just said the issue is resolved and we should be underway soon!

[Didi and Gogo dance with joy]

They just need to “close up the engine.” COULD THEY DO THAT FROM THE AIR PLEASE 😭😭😭😭

Still not in the air but logging off to sit quietly with my eyes closed and hum to myself