Notices by sluttymayo (sluttymayo@jorts.horse)

📔 the howevermany habits of highly dysfunctional shitposters

not to get all political, but *breaks down crying*

my most trusted vizier troubling news doth bring. should mine hand be larger than mine face, shall a dire scandal befall my throne. forthwith must i check

i mentally reassign the copyright to each of my toots to random people that i know, as to put a kind of posting hex on them

damn girl, are you the photobucket images on an old forum thread about a niche topic? because i really wish i could see you

@xyhhx @AnarchoNinaWrites if nina would just listen to a little more john lennon and schoolhouse rock she might actually understand what it's going take to make the world a better place*, smh my head

*progressivism, i.e. doing the exact same stuff we're doing now, but making it mandatory to have the feel-good energy of a british petroleum commercial about it

i resolve to be sluttier and more emulsified for 2023

i resolve to be even sluttier and even more emulsified for 2024

new year's resolution: 2025 is going to be my sluttiest and most emulsified year yet

remember, you're not just marrying her, you're marrying her collection of stuffed animals

diogenes owned nothing but a bowl, until he saw a child drink from a cupped hand. astonished, he threw the bowl away and wrote a lengthy essay on linkedin about what it means for b2b sales

me: brings groceries inside
sir dogge: i am sniffmaxxing, i am scentpilled, i am getting my snout one hundred percent all up down in this reusable bag

organizing my reference materials for my in-depth research into what my mom's deal is (i am ripping the cd of carole king's tapestry to ogg)

if your wedding vows don't include "in real life, and in the metaverse" you're not legally married, sorry to break this to you

dogs 🤝 dogwood trees
bark

a rising tide wets all jorts

"lukewarm" then why did he have to get inside the tauntaun. curious

cq #idls cq #idls

this is sluttymayo acting as net controller the weekly jorts.horse ieee dua lipa shitposting net. the net is open to all licensed shitposters and jorts wearers to share traffic that is definitely not made up about electrical engineer and occasional popstar dua lipa.

if any stations have emergency traffic or especially hot takes, please call immediately. otherwise, we will start off with news pertaining to dua lipa.

it's wild how young they are making people these days. when i was a kid, it seemed like everyone was older

hope all the girlies who used color coded pens for notes in high school are surviving being the bridesmaid who does more work than the maid of honor now ✨