Notices by sluttymayo (sluttymayo@jorts.horse)

new nimtendo gametube is going to have firewire and scsi #nintendodirect

the fediverse is great because, generally, i expect to hear better opinions about computers from people with custom anime fox emojis in their display names than i expect from people who describe themselves as computer professionals in their bios

this is a pro daylight savings time account

i don't care if i "lose" one hour on a weekend in march, it's probably rainy and shitty out anyway because it's march

i don't care if it's dark in the morning, i have to go to work then anyway so it's a write-off time of day. "it's dangerous for kids waiting for the school bus" abolish cars, then

when it's 10pm in june and it's still a tiny bit light out i am invincible

"dang my skin feels dry"
*puts water on it*
*it doesn't help at all*

why is skin like this? skin is a scam by big lotion. we should all just be cool skeletons. the only thing that gets marketed to skeletons is sick motorcycles

📔 the howevermany habits of highly dysfunctional shitposters

not to get all political, but *breaks down crying*

my most trusted vizier troubling news doth bring. should mine hand be larger than mine face, shall a dire scandal befall my throne. forthwith must i check

i mentally reassign the copyright to each of my toots to random people that i know, as to put a kind of posting hex on them

damn girl, are you the photobucket images on an old forum thread about a niche topic? because i really wish i could see you

@xyhhx @AnarchoNinaWrites if nina would just listen to a little more john lennon and schoolhouse rock she might actually understand what it's going take to make the world a better place*, smh my head

*progressivism, i.e. doing the exact same stuff we're doing now, but making it mandatory to have the feel-good energy of a british petroleum commercial about it

i resolve to be sluttier and more emulsified for 2023

i resolve to be even sluttier and even more emulsified for 2024

new year's resolution: 2025 is going to be my sluttiest and most emulsified year yet

remember, you're not just marrying her, you're marrying her collection of stuffed animals

diogenes owned nothing but a bowl, until he saw a child drink from a cupped hand. astonished, he threw the bowl away and wrote a lengthy essay on linkedin about what it means for b2b sales

me: brings groceries inside
sir dogge: i am sniffmaxxing, i am scentpilled, i am getting my snout one hundred percent all up down in this reusable bag

organizing my reference materials for my in-depth research into what my mom's deal is (i am ripping the cd of carole king's tapestry to ogg)

if your wedding vows don't include "in real life, and in the metaverse" you're not legally married, sorry to break this to you

dogs 🤝 dogwood trees
bark

a rising tide wets all jorts