Notices by DocAtCDI (docatcdi@mastodon.social)

I taught a creative writing class at a prison.
It had its prose and cons.

I've washed my hands so many times over these past two years that I found cheat notes from a test I took in 1980.

A thief tried to steal the paintings at the Louvre in Paris. He was caught two blocks away when he ran out of gas. He said: I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh. But I tried because I had nothing Toulouse.

A friend just told me that my daughter and my wife look like twins. I said, 'Well, they were separated at birth.'

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, What would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

Follow the fresh prints.

What is a web developers favorite tea?

URL Grey.

I've done some terrible things for money. Like getting up early to go to work.

Just watched a documentary on marijuana.

I think thats how Im gonna watch all documentaries from now on

Somebody just threw a bottle of omega 3 capsules at me.

I only have super fish oil injuries but Im lucky I wasnt krilled!

I got to the Lego store and saw that people were lined up for blocks.

What do you call a chicken staring at a lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

My office computer just crashed and now all the other computers have slowed down so they can see whats happening.

I tried to attend a seminar for kleptomaniacs. All the seats were already taken.

The guy who invented predictive text passed away yesterday. His funfair will be next monkey.

The female janitor at my building asked if I would chill and smoke some weed with her.

I said: No. I can't deal with high maintenance women.

What do you call friends you like to eat with? Tastebuds.

Ive just found a wallet with $20 in it.

I wasnt sure how to proceed, but then I thought, What would Jesus do?

So I turned it into wine.

England doesnt have a kidney bank... But it does have a Liverpool.

Last night on Dancing With The Tsars, Peter and Catherine were great but Ivan was terrible