Notices by ThatSexToyGuy (hungry_joe@mas.to)

my camera is ALWAYS set to 'motherfucker'

My brain at 3pm: you're tired you should sleep

My brain at 3am: A GROUP OF SQUID SHOULD BE CALLED A SQUAD

sorry i yelled THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS when i climaxed

I don't understand why 135mm focal lengths fell out of favour. Look at this absolute nothing photo, and how my 1957 Steinheil Tele-Quinar 135mm f2.8 has somehow made it beautiful.

MASTODON WE DID IT WE HAVE A KING CELLIST LET'S GOOOOOOOO

I hope it brings Mastodon some pleasure to learn that with the help of just about everyone in the entire fediverse I have secured a kinky cellist to perform in fetish gear.

Thanks to all of you, photos on Thursday :D

Professional request:

I'm looking for a kinky cellist/violinist willing to play background music in full fetish gear for 100 people at a corporate event in Berlin on May 30. Paid, naturally.

Pleas share :)

Hey, professional request:

I'm looking for a Berlin-based burlesque or cabaret performer(s) who have an act that features phones or social media in some way. End of May, in Berlin.

Please share & RT far and wide, this account doesn't get much reach.

Thanks!

Great restaurant slogan.

Rejected alternatives include "you'll get what you're given and like it," "eat your dinner or dad will be cross," and "there are starving children in Africa"

ever procrastinated so hard that you put pigtails in your beard to see if it looked cute? me neither

oh no my ratatouille rat is making me have sex with a stranger who is also controlled by a ratatouille rat. we're not even attracted to each other, only the rats are. our eyes meet apologetically for a moment, and then look away, the ratatouille rat has climaxed in my hair

Here's me taking a picture, and the picture I was taking :)

(Prague)

"but i didn't shave"

honey i once ate a curly wurly i found on the floor of a taxi, lie back

sorry i yelled I'M ENTERING MY JIZZ ERA when i was about to cum

I dunno bro, like, 'blood brothers' sounds pretty intense. Can we just be, like, jizz buddies instead? Like, shall we just touch the tips of our dicks together? Shall we make out? Let's make out bro, let's just make out this one time, or you know, whenever. ok no that's cool

me: i need a hifi

hitachi: we can do that

me: cool. now if only i could find a fucking great big vibrator

hitachi: buddy you aint gonna believe this

{first date}

me, to myself: don't let her know you're 20 squirrels in a trenchcoat

waiter: for you sir?

me: yeah could i get just like a fuckin bucket of acorns

my back
-not alright

backstreet's back
-alright

"Miyazaki absolutely eviscerating an AI art demonstration" is my new standard for measuring how badly my presentation went

I want a pet crocodile and he will be called noam chompsky and he will love me