Notices by Edmonds_Scanner (edmonds_scanner@universeodon.com)

Don't work harder or smarter.
Work darker.
Use your knowledge of black magic to call upon the old gods.
Turn all CEOs into newts & ferns.
Cover all office buildings in moss & wildflowers and let the raccoons have them.
You deserve a rest.

Take care of yourself this holiday season.
- close your eyes
- take a deep breath
- give your old bones a rest
- wander the trackless moors at midnight and follow ghosts to the crumbling ruins of forgotten kings and magic untold
- have some tea and cake

I hope this message finds you well.
I also hope this message finds you enjoying tea with the badger family in a cozy den in the misty woods, and you're surrounded by books, old friends, and a mossy sense of wonder.

As Halloween draws near, and the veil between our world and a darker begins to break, just remember that the moss goblins, leaf ghouls, twig witches, and undead swamp knights need friends too, just like we all do.

Do something nice for yourself today.
Wander into the forest, find an entrance to the world of faerie, cover yourself in moss, leaves, & old bones, and start a new life as a creature of wild benevolence.

In the end, don't we all want the same thing?
An occult library of our own, an enchanted skull who gives questionable advice, and singing mice that will sew us fabulous outfits for the ball?

Most economists agree that by the time you're 40, you should:
- own a fully stocked occult library
- move about the forest in an old cottage atop giant chicken legs
- turn all your rivals into newts & moss
- gossip with owls under a blanket of stars