Notices by Xavier (xinicit@mastodon.floe.earth)

Metalheads are theater kids who don’t know they’re theater kids.

Friday night selfie

It would be cool if we could cross a tasmanian devil with a chihuahua so that maybe we could have calmer chihuahuas.

People treat being mentally ill like a weird hobby you’re supposed to do outside of working hours, like Warhammer or having loved ones.

“Snuggle bug” is a cute nickname but a horrifying concept.

Roses are red
Bird bones are hollow
“Non sequitir” means
“It doesn’t follow”

She came into my life like a sexually charged circus bear wielding a purloined t-shirt cannon, and all I could do was stand there as she rocked back and forth on her unicycle and took aim at my heart.

My first day writing porn scripts:

Maybe she could order a pizza? Do women eat pizza? That’s a lot of food for one person, though. Should there be pineapple, or is that considered a fetish? Shit, this is difficult!

My milkshake brings the boys to the yard. My fries attract women to my veranda. Sometimes I forget to put the twist thingy on the bread and get ants on the counter.

I think I’ve said this before, but “hugs not drugs” does not take into account how much easier it is to get drugs, and that you’re less likely to be rejected.

The ADHD paradox of needing to find an absolute banger song they can ignore while they work.

They should make a bed that is as comfortable at night as a couch is in the afternoon.

Those feels when the caffeine in your blood stream drops below maintenance levels for ADHD management. The Post Dopamine Droop.

Did you know that if you steal a billionaire’s organs they are worth the same amount as a pauper’s? Really makes you think.

Got kicked out of the mall for convincing a bunch of kids at Hot Topic to prove they were real Goths by sacking Rome.

My cat is lying on my tummy so today is canceled.

Me: Here it is. My magnum opus. The post that will define me as a poster.

1 Boost 2 Likes

Also Me: I’m feeling manic, so here’s some stupid shit I just thought.

5000 Boosts 9999999 Likes 7 Marriage Proposals

I’m trying to fill the hole inside of me with cats, but they keep climbing out.

Gotta quit listening to music at work. HR just sent out another memo telling us not to go over our allotted weeping time.

I’m not trying to be weird. Being weird is the only thing I do that takes zero effort.