Hollie
When Amazon tells you they're replacing actual human narrators at Audible with AI for the glorious cause of accessibility, remember that those assholes regularly rope authors into Audible Exclusive deals, which not only means you can only hear them on Audible, it also means those audiobooks then become inaccessible to PUBLIC LIBRARIES.
It's not about accessibility, it's about the profits.
Hollie
HAHahahahah the scientist just excitedly pouring huge beakers of stuff into a barrel, I hope that scene launched a thousand STEM careers
Hollie
It's funny how all the 70's movies are like "I hate my spouse, I can't wait to cheat with some hot babe over there," and all the 80's movies are like, "I can't wait to get home to my spouse, who is right now in a black negligee - or maybe chopping me a salad - waiting to make my dreams come true"
Hollie
She's going to be sorry she apologized for being an alcoholic when all that beer is about to come in REAL HANDY
Hollie
And they say porn doesn't have a plot
Hollie
"What'll it be next, demented crickets?!?"
I mean, yeah, the way things are going that sounds like an even better movie, actually
Hollie
The sign for ASHTON SANITATION DEPARTMENT just asking to be creatively vandalized with a Sharpie
Hollie
He's not going to remember to get his free Old Spaghetti Factory glass now
Hollie
Truly shocked the scientist is still alive
Hollie
Slugs playing Clue later: "It was Mike Brady, in the Kitchen, with the Frying Pan!"
Hollie
You know what wouldn't blow up the whole town? Salt.
Hollie
You know what else wouldn't blow up the whole town? Sober, non-naked, non-poisoned non-elderly humans with shovels and a desire for change
Hollie
Don, smartest man in this movie, will probably die soon
Hollie
"When I do get back, how 'bout we get naked and crazy"
Don's last words are going to look great on his tombstone
Hollie
Okay so we know the slugs can open a ketchup bottle underwater, that's pretty smart
Hollie
I can tell I'm going to spend the entire movie going, "But why couldn't you just....
a) outrun the slug
b) outswim the slug
c) remove the slug from your body
d) get some salt
Hollie
The slugs are like, "That's the worst pillow talk we've ever heard, you have been marked for death, just give us like twenty minutes to get over there"
Hollie
"Yes it's Mike Brady," OMG I WISH IT WERE REALLY MIKE BRADY
Can you imagine the Brady kids getting eaten by slugs, one by one? What a magical horror film that would be
Hollie
They're making it really hard to determine who are the good kids and who are the bad kids
Hollie
It'd be great if this was the start of a whole series of single-word-title terrible horror films about slow-moving but obviously incredibly deadly animals, like SLOTHS or STARFISH
she/theyEnthusiastic about #nature, hats, kindness, #puns, #tea, funny stories, personal websites, lichen, bags, space, boats, hobbits, #UrbanSketching, #books, #watercolors, laughing, ham radio, #bicycling, #monsterdon, #cooking, #knitting, spinning, sewing. #HSP, #fibro & #MECFS, MCAS, #anxiety, #ADHD.GenX, happily married to @gregtitus for ~30 yrs, mom of two adult kids (one hard-of-hearing, one autistic trans). Wears heart on sleeve. Trans rights are human rights.
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