You don’t have to help.
Just don’t be a hinderance.
You don’t have to help.
Just don’t be a hinderance.
I have to live with me. Every second of every day.
The work never stops but I like who I am and who I’m becoming. You’re just… talking about what I’ve yet to figure out or become better at.
So with all due respect, it’s not that I find your critique unhelpful. It’s that I can’t afford to care more about your musings when I’ve got to do what I’ve got to do.
I’ve relearned a vital life lesson this year. It’s one of those things that presents itself multiple times throughout my life but there’s always a new layer to unearth every time.
It does not matter what anyone’s perception of my reality — my struggles, what happened to me, what I’ve done, my triumphs et al — is to them. They’re merely spectators.
A perfect way to make heauxs mad is to unapologetically revel in whatever gives you joy.
That’s it. Marinade in that joyous moment and watch the projections come flying in like a flock of geese.
My boyfriend called me distraught and sad about losing a custom made press on nail he just got yesterday. I was working so I called him to console him and reassure him that we’ll get it replaced before next Monday.
What he doesn’t know is that I’m at the florist having a gigantic bouquet put together with two of his favourite flowers as part of the floral ensemble. 😁😈
I truly hope the people from my past have grown and bettered themselves. I hope they have gotten the kind of healing they seemed desperate for but couldn’t let go of their desire for revenge against the people they told me wronged them.
Truly, I meant it when I said I never want to see or speak to the people from my past ever again. I forgive them for how they made my life harder. I forgive them for the slander and character assassination. I forgive them for the harm they caused me.
I’m much better now. The only thing I want from them is that they never treat anyone like they did me ever again. That is their only obligation.
The people in their respective lives that they actually love are worthy of that.
There is, however, something of a massive silver lining among the newly-discovered tarnished metals.
Whatever anger, pain, and upsettedness I felt finally unpacking all this is quickly extinguished by the reminder that I am not only cared for and enriched by people who actually love me and not just the idea of me they created in their heads. No, I have managed to develop the systems I need to better help myself and I have traded my penchant for self-loathing in exchange for genuine self-care.
I give myself grace now where I would feel deeply guilty and even suicidal for doing so. I stopped at nothing to feel and be better.
That meant the people from my past couldn’t stay. I chose me over them and it all makes sense now.
Suddenly, it doesn’t seem so bad that I dumped the ex-partners that I dumped. Suddenly, it doesn’t seem so bad that I extricated myself from community with so-called friends.
It was all necessary; mainly because in my effort to find peace and healing, the people from my past were completely devoted to conflict without ever acknowledging it. Thus, I get made out to be the problematic one rather than the one that needs assistance with a problem.
If I can be blunt, I feel manipulated and used. My moments of vulnerability were simply canon fodder for their whisper networks. Here I am, trying to help myself and the people I looked to for support only helped themselves to whatever accrued more social currency for them online.
Isn’t it remarkable how some people spend more time grandstanding on social media referencing trauma that isn’t theirs while actively disrespecting the people they appropriated said trauma from?
I’m tempted to cuss these people out indirectly but I won’t. They’re not worth it and the universe put me in league with the people that actually enrich my life rather than treat my trauma like some resource to be mined and sold for social currency.
The peace I found was in the process all along. It just sucks there has been pain and further traumatisation caused by people I thought I could trust along the way.
What I needed from people I previously trusted and loved was to be treated with a lot more compassion than they were willing to give me. What I didn’t deserve was to be slandered on social media and have my struggles mischaracterised out of spite. What I had hoped that these people were better at was empathising with someone who has mental health issues seeing as they often talk about mental health issues… but I now sit with the discomfort that none of these people were nearly as empathetic or as compassionate as I thought them to be.
Not to me, anyway. Maybe to people they actually care about. 😔 This is where people in my inner circle come in: they immediately showed me the kind of care my former so-called “friends” categorically didn’t.
It’s incredible what time, introspection, and the compassion of others will reveal to you about the people who blame you for their own shortcomings.
I finally had to admit something about myself that I had previously dismissed as nonsense: a lot of personal trauma is couched in things like housekeeping and domestic chores. This goes all the way back to childhood and was exacerbated by how I was treated by people I thought were my friends and even select ex-partners.
I turned all this into a bludgeon to beat myself up with whenever it came to my living space being cluttered and untidy but I shouldn’t have. I was only making my depression and ADHD paralysis worse.
As a matter of fact, ALL of you heauxs — Nazi adjacent bigots or not — can definitely stop acting shocked, disgusted, or any of that bollocks when the topic of gay sex comes up. Because the way these porn site statistics are set up? We’re all you think about, babes. 🙃
As far as I’m concerned, you all want your holes cratered or you think about sliding into some sexy bottom’s bussy at least twice a week if not every goddamn night.
Liberate yourselves please. I refuse to do it for you.
I love how this news of two dudes allegedly fucking in the Judiciary room of the Hart Senate Office Building is being called “gay sex” in just about every headline. Not only is that the least scandalous part but once again, you lot don’t know shit about queer men’s sex lives.
Especially them girls at The Daily Caller.
I know these heauxs think about getting their cheeks clapped by someone who looks like me more than I do and I’m the queer guy with an exceptionally queer sex life. I just need Shapiro & Co. to stop all this acting.
@soft A time, being alive, etcetera
Right so… take this how you want, I don’t care.
I just want to reiterate that so-called “thirst trappin’” will continue as and when the mood strikes me. In other words, there will be no rest for any of you heauxs. Not even in light of my diagnosis.
It was on the third day that Jesus reportedly rose from the dead. Last time I checked, my foot from these heauxs necks is isn’t Jesus.
😘🤗🙃 😂😘🤣😈🥰💜💙🩷
@kevin3kon It’s something that I’ve back and forth on for at least a decade.
I think there actually is a universality across the sociopolitical spectrum that binds the right, the centre, and the left: the desire to punish and spill blood as penance for objective or even perceived wrongdoing.
I fear no one is ready for that conversation so I’ll just write about and move on like I usually do.
I think I just come out and say it:
People who believe what so-called body language experts say are paranoid, anti-social, and extremely distrusting without anyone to tell them.
The older I get, the more asinine a lot of crusades I see going on appear to be.
Like… there’s a whole genocide going on in Sudan, Democratic Republic of the Congo, and Palestine but I’m supposed to take the lamentations about a game beloved by millions from some dickhead who hides behind a Warhammer 40K avatar seriously?
Forgive me for being unwilling to piss on these people even if they were on fire.
The argument that Space Marines can’t be women because the lore says so doesn’t mean a goddamn thing to me. Lore changes over time as it’s a living document. Before any of that, it’s a fictional world where the entirety of the lore isn’t based in reality.
I promise the world will not end when female Space Marines become a thing. Your life will not materially change. You will still find other media and mediums to get your He-Man Woman Haters club circle jerk on just like you lot always have.
The world will keep spinning. That said, don’t be an incel.
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