Notices by Matthew Haughey (mathowie@xoxo.zone), page 7

Wordpress powers a third of the web. Wordpress.com is easily the biggest host. But if you want your Wordpress blog to show up in the fediverse it requires a $40/mo account all for one plugin (along with a bunch of unnecessary e-commerce features)

Hey Wordpress peeps! What if the ActivityPub plugin was default included in *all* Wordpress accounts, even the cheaper ones?

I spent the last hour updating Time To Statham Punch, my internet service that lets you know how long you have to wait until Jason Statham punches someone in his movies. I've covered all his recent and popular films, going to complete it and watch the lesser known ones next.

http://time.to.stathampun.ch/

Yay! He lost a civil case! And got fined heavily for not shutting the fuck up!

This is a good amuse bouche, now let’s see him lose some of those federal cases too.

Can we all agree Wonka (2023) will be the last film to ever use a fat suit as a running gag in a movie? I know it's nowhere near equivalent, but I feel like society collectively abandoned ever using blackface in a mainstream film after Tropic Thunder did it ironically in 2006, and we're all better for never having to see anyone try to do it again.

I probably complained about this last year during the Emmys broadcast but on what fucking planet is The Bear considered a comedy show? Seriously, put it up against Succession, etc where it belongs.

@thomasfuchs straw = haystick which I said wrong because I was thinking of needles in haystacks?

just described an event to my spouse as "the hay stick that broke a camel's back" and it took us a full two minutes to backtrack and figure out what I was actually trying to say

When you visit a foreign country, always take time to check out a grocery store. I guarantee you will see at least one thing that blows your mind compared to your home country.

Belgium: an entire wall of sprinkles for buttered toast in the morning, also the huge aisle of mayonnaise flavors to put on your fries, like hundreds of options

Western EU: eggs out in aisles unrefrigerated

Italy: unbelievably fresh and tasty fruit even in bodegas

Australia: TimTams come in a bazillion flavors

My spouse is a university professor that came up with an interesting idea. A week before finals, she does a review session and shows every student their current class grade.

Then she says you can take the cumulative final next week if you want to improve on it but if you’re happy with your grade, skip the final w/o penalty and this grade will be your course grade.

Results are fascinating. Usually 50-75% opt out of the finals.

Looked up some breaking news item on youtube and got a shitload of results featuring stock footage with an obvious AI voice reading what sounded like a handful of unsourced tweets about what might have happened and I guess the scourge of AI bullshit coming for us is here.

LinkedIn could be the number one social network in the world if they made one change: add custom CSS and HTML fields to make your profile look like MySpace in 2008. Side bonus: LI could hire the most innovative custom profile makers directly to work on their web team.

Give people the power they had in Geocities in 1997 in a 2023 social network, you cowards

if I was cast in the film The Social Network, I'd walk onto set each morning, do some finger guns at the director and ask him "So, are we sorkin' hard today or hardly sorkin'?"

happy annual email unsubscribe day to all those who celebrate

The new Chevy Blazer EV looks cool but it’s the first Chevy car that REMOVES CarPlay and Android Auto and instead uses a Google-based screen system but given a court just ruled automakers can legally read/record your texts I gotta say this seems like the most customer hostile thing I’ve ever seen from an automaker.

(screenshot from threads)

This situation is wild. When you live in the US, the question answered by public infrastructure is rarely “how can we help more people” more often it’s “how can we increase our profits?”

Two things I heard comedians mention that seemed too good to be true but actually are real:

1) Dollar stores in the UK are called Poundtown

2) There’s a store in Colorado named after the street it’s on called Beaver Liquors

Update: a week later, the Portland Japanese Garden is at its absolute PEAK with yellows and reds

Portland Japanese Garden almost at peak color + sunny blue sky

the obvious answer is unfettered access to weapons capable of mass murder for any american because of a bad faith reading of a 250yo law about muskets from a new country without a standing army

Current status