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Me: *goes to veggie/vegan cafe*
Me: carefully avoids ordering anything with gochujang or miso paste because it's always cross contaminated to hell with shellfish
My mouth: *starts swelling up anyway*
The feta: *turns out to not actually be feta but some sort of vegan substitute containing miso paste*

I'm fine, but vegans please for the love of god clearly mark when you're using a substitute because loads of your ingredients contain small amounts of shellfish!!!!