They *knew* what I didn’t at the time: they were in no position to be the companion I needed; never mind the companion they said they were confident they could be for me given the abusive relationship they watched me recover from. After a while, it became harder to ignore that this person I loved was in more pain than they let on and I could do nothing more than the best I could for them.
And yet… I could do what they did. I could disparage them, slander them, provoke them to wrath, etcetera.
I refuse. I didn’t then. I won’t now. Instead, I pressed on. Not without a serious suicidal episode because I blamed myself for essentially choosing my wellbeing over their callousness… but on I went.