It’s incredible what time, introspection, and the compassion of others will reveal to you about the people who blame you for their own shortcomings.
I finally had to admit something about myself that I had previously dismissed as nonsense: a lot of personal trauma is couched in things like housekeeping and domestic chores. This goes all the way back to childhood and was exacerbated by how I was treated by people I thought were my friends and even select ex-partners.
I turned all this into a bludgeon to beat myself up with whenever it came to my living space being cluttered and untidy but I shouldn’t have. I was only making my depression and ADHD paralysis worse.