Today I am struggling with the little voice in the back of my head that is screaming that everything we are doing is wrong and is making things worse. Working as an educator I get this voice at least once a week.
As educators we try so hard to do what we can for the young people we work with. But the foundational assumptions we work from are often corrupted by capitalism, white supremacy, etc etc etc
It all feels so overwhelming.
Today my frustration is directed towards the people who keep assuming you can quantify and develop concrete and universal steps for relationship building. None of these people understand the true basis of connection, or rather they misunderstand it and think they can quantify and measure these things.
I hate this drive for making intangible concepts into numbers, it's always about labeling and control, control, control. It makes me sick. And I can't even talk about it with my coworkers because everyone's "professional" and academic training makes them afraid of their fucking feelings.
And it's so hard to even put into words because language itself is so damn limiting.
Anyway. Maybe lunch will make me feel better about living and working in this hellscape...