Guess your manager telling you in a 1:1: "You excuse too often. Don't! Stop excusing at all. When you excuse for something you did wrong you bring yourself in the inferior position in the conversation."
THAT'S what it means to be "socialized male" as someone who never ever wanted to be a man but thought he had no choice but also knew he couldn't perform this role because he/she had absolutely no fucking idea how to do so. And also didn't want to. That's not me.