I was listening to a dating podcast today. The host and some chick argued for like 15 minutes about men wanting “submissive” women. The woman on the podcast seemed to take it as “men want me to have no opinions and just agree.” And, to be frank this is how the host pitched the idea.

So, here is my rant:

What it means when you hear “men want a submissive woman”.

So, when men or redbill bros say they want a “submissive woman”, women seem to get defensive and interpret this as “men want me to do whatever they say”. This isn’t true and submissive, in my opinion, is the wrong word to use. Men don’t want a submissive woman. Some do, sure, but the majority of men I know don’t want a maid or someone who does whatever they say.

What men are actually looking for is a woman who is good at conversation skills and doesn’t insult him all the time or argue constantly. An example of this is letting a man talk about something he’s passionate about even if you don’t find it super interesting.

For example if a man says, “My favorite car is a Honda, what cars do you like?”

Bleh answer: “I don’t like cars, idk.”

Conversation starting answer: “I don’t know anything about cars, but why do you like hondas?”

If a man asks you a question about something you don’t know or disagree with, try “I disagree, but why do you feel that way.”

See, what men (and people) look for is not submission, but pleasant conversation. If you disagree with someone, don’t understand the topic, or don’t care about the topic you can:

Ask them for the reasons for their opinions
Ask to have the topic explained
Ask them to explain their point of view
Simply listen to the reasons they feel the way they do

Men (and people in general) don’t really want submissive women. What they want is a woman who can have a conversation without putting them down, or ignoring all of the things they are passionate about. You can keep your opinions and allow someone else to explain their point of view without compromising your values. Just because you listen to someone talk about their passions and feelings, does not make you submissive - it makes you a good listener and conversationalist.

Hope my soapbox was helpful...