Lessons learned: Pleroma is "lightweight", but database requires periodical maintenance, or it'll bloat out and give eternal server errors.

Loli frog started the "fix_likes_collections" command 3 hours ago, and when I asked her just a few seconds ago, she says that it still doesn't seem like it's going to be finished anytime soon.

According to internet-sensei, this is going to solve the not functioning timeline in the end (and let's hope he's right), so please have some patience.

Part of the reason why I prefer to use MariaDB over PostgreSQL every time I work on projects with an SQL database involved, because every time I used PostgreSQL (whether it be a new project, an existing project to fix, or just as a consoomer), the database ALWAYS breaks in the end, no exceptions.
Alongside the bigger reason of it being infinitely harder to set up to begin with compared to MariaDB, but that aside.