Today at exactly 4:20pm this guy stopped me in front of the burger king parking lot. He kept demanding I show him what I ordered and after I refused he pushed me down and forcefully took my bag and dumped the burgers on the floor.

"What's this?" He asked "not getting any impossible burgers? You some kinda meatboy?" He then began stomping on all of my burgers while dancing around while I laid there, helpless and alone.

"Meat boy! Meat boy! Meat boy!" He repeated while staring me dead in the eyes. Foam frothing out of his mouth. He kept doing this until I promised to become a vegan and he said that if I broke the promise he'd "forcefully update" my "pleroma instance" whatever that means.

Someone please help me track down this scoundrel and report him to the authorities! I fear for my life as well as the lives of my family.