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   Evan Prodromou (evan@prodromou.pub)'s status on Tuesday, 15-Nov-2022 10:39:38 JST Evan Prodromou

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   • Christine Lemmer-Webber

   @cwebber ugh. I am really sorry you had to go through that. And sorry that as co-chair I'm responsible for it being a toxic environment. I will try to recognize those patterns and correct for them in my future work. Thanks for telling your story.

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     Christine Lemmer-Webber (cwebber@octodon.social)'s status on Tuesday, 15-Nov-2022 10:39:39 JST Christine Lemmer-Webber

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     The funny thing with this thread getting so much attention is I *didn't* write a bunch about the history (and pre- and post- history!) of standardizing ActivityPub. Which, by the way, was a wild ride itself. That could have a thread of its own at some point I guess.

     I will just say that I'm glad ActivityPub succeeded because the standards process definitely took a few years off my life. And it wasn't just me who did it, it was a bunch of us. But also a bunch of drama. The Social Web Working Group was my first ever standards group and nobody told me ahead of time that it was notoriously the most toxic standards group in all the W3C.

     ... maybe it's best NOT to revisit all that history. Oh my god. I'm glad we're past it. I'm glad we made it. Let sleeping drama lie. Onwards and upwards.

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     Christine Lemmer-Webber (cwebber@octodon.social)'s status on Tuesday, 15-Nov-2022 10:39:41 JST Christine Lemmer-Webber

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     Well this thread got a lot more attention than I anticipated, which is nice and a little bit spooky but mostly nice.

     Thanks everyone, it does feel nice to have some recognition. We're not done, and I'm not done. I might be mopey about things, but I'm also excited about the future, at the same time. I particularly think the things we're building in Spritely are really going to change the internet as we know it, whether we get the credit for it or not. Reasons to be excited, to keep going, to get myself up, to hack all the hacks, every day.

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     Christine Lemmer-Webber (cwebber@octodon.social)'s status on Tuesday, 15-Nov-2022 10:39:42 JST Christine Lemmer-Webber

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     I'm proud of the fediverse, as it exists. I'm not responsible for it, but I don't think it's an exaggeration to say I'm one of the many people who helped make it happen. I don't need to be famous for it... being famous for it is probably even unsafe. The people who need to know, know. That's good enough. There are a lot of other people who worked on the spec, like Jessica, Erin, Evan, Amy, who don't get nearly the amount of recognition I have. I'm grateful the right people know what I did and will listen to me.

     But also the fediverse, as it's rolled out, is simultaneously the best option we have for this moment in history and also not ready. It's not the long term answer. We're working on that though. Hell, I'm lucky that I got to co-found an organization that might be able to build that future.

     A few years ago I was working 60 hour weeks trying to make this damn ActivityPub thing happen even though all I heard all the time was that there's no way it was going to make it. Now I'm working 70 hour weeks trying to build the next thing. I'd really like to, ya know, get it down to a plain and simple 40. But even more so, I'd like this work we're starting, for the next step of things, to survive.

     And someone else will probably be known for that work, but in general... that happens. Hell, you're lucky to make an ounce of impact in this world, let again get some recognition. And recognition isn't always so great either. It can be a real curse. Especially if you, yourself, are somehow against the grain of things. But also just in general. I care more about getting things done than anything. I only need to be well known enough to get the things I care about moving forward, and that's it really.

     Anyway, rant over. I've been holding this in for a while. Thanks for listening, to those who did. I'm glad ActivityPub is taking off. I'm looking forward to the future. The state we're in is just the beginning. You'll see. And thanks for being here. Thanks for making it all worthwhile, making these efforts worth their while.

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     Christine Lemmer-Webber (cwebber@octodon.social)'s status on Tuesday, 15-Nov-2022 10:39:43 JST Christine Lemmer-Webber

     in reply to

     But all of that makes everything I'm watching right now fill me up with a million emotions. It's great to see success. It's frightening to think that being too successful might make you a target.

     There's another thing I haven't said, I think: I almost didn't transition because I *knew* I'm a prominent trans engineer, and I know what happens to prominent trans engineers. Fucked up, right?

     And like, I guess it's just *weird* to see this thing I've poured myself into, killed myself over, that I've never stopped trying to figure out how to figure out how to get to the next phase, suddenly get all this attention. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE A RICH DUDE GOT UPSET AT A BAD JOKE SITE GETTING KICKED OFF FOR MAKING A TRANSPHOBIC JOKE

     You wanna hear a joke? That a bunch of people who are claiming they're all for "freedom of speech" are kissing the feet of *centralization* now that it's at the end of a despot who might get away with letting them say racist, sexist, queerphobic bullshit.

     Just watching all this, it's all too real. It's all too personal. It's hard to look away from.

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     Christine Lemmer-Webber (cwebber@octodon.social)'s status on Tuesday, 15-Nov-2022 10:39:44 JST Christine Lemmer-Webber

     in reply to

     But that's a thing I haven't really talked about, because talking about it felt weirdly forbidden: I was close enough that I had direct calls with Jack Dorsey and Parag Agrawal. I had a direct one on one call with Parag where I thought they were going to announce I got BlueSky and instead they told me they were giving it to someone else, but maybe if the person and I got along, I could be the tech lead or something. I guess it's not surprising that I didn't get it: I decided to use my presentations as a test, and I told them exactly what I thought we should do in my usual, excited, but completely direct self... and intentionally not filtering any of that, including about what I thought the mistakes Twitter, Facebook, etc had made. So I guess it's not surprising I gave the impression that I wasn't the right person to be the public lead. That experience did lead me to decide to co-found the Spritely Institute with Randy Farmer instead.

     I *will* say that I was surprised that the people who were most cool, of all the top exec folks at Twitter, of having me tell them *exactly* what I thought were Jack Dorsey and Parag Agrawal. They seemed entertained and were nodding along enthusiastically. A lot of the other top people seemed stunned to have this nonbinary weirdo saying all this stuff to them that was so *direct*. Or that's the read I got.

     I did get the impression that both Jack and Parag genuinely cared about building BlueSky btw, that it wasn't some scheme as I think a lot of us feared. But maybe I just felt that way because they were willing to listen to me, and that they were listening at all, seemingly in earnest, was a surprise.

     But it was a blessing in disguise, ultimately, because not getting BlueSky meant starting the Spritely Institute doing *exactly* what I thought we should be doing.

     Damn, woulda been nice to start with all that money though. A lot less stress. Probably.

     But then again, I'd probably have all the transphobes knocking down my door. The eye of Elon himself would probably be upon me. Guess I'm "lucky". Which is fucked up itself, to even think that.

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     Christine Lemmer-Webber (cwebber@octodon.social)'s status on Tuesday, 15-Nov-2022 10:39:45 JST Christine Lemmer-Webber

     There's so much I haven't said about the making of the fediverse, ActivityPub, this moment. And so much of all of this feels really emotional for me *personally*. How we got here. The making of the spec. The huge role transphobia is playing in Twitter falling apart paralleling the huge role that trans people played building the fediverse. What I am trying my damnedest to build for the future of decentralized social networks.

     There's so much I'd like to say, but talking about it feels dangerous, forbidden, selfish.

     Sometimes I do kinda feel written out of all this history, but maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe it's for the best.

     I didn't realize how fucked up that is until the other day when I commented out loud that I was "lucky" that I didn't get BlueSky because, given what's happening with Twitter, I'd almost certainly be getting a ton of transphobic attention right now. And a friend pointed out how terrible it was that I was even put in a position to *think* that.

     Heck, up until pointing that, that's a thing I never even mentioned publicly. There you go, now you know: I was, I believe, second in the running to run BlueSky. It's not a shock they gave it to Jay Graber, I think she's great. But... (cotd ...)