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   Lesbian Death Bed (bitterkarella@sfba.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-Jul-2024 02:42:21 JST Lesbian Death Bed

   1
   WW Jacobs: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the monkey's paw
   Jacobs: it's about a monkey paw that grants wishes
   King: sounds great!
   Jacobs: no it's not
   Jacobs: it's really bad actually

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     Lesbian Death Bed (bitterkarella@sfba.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-Jul-2024 02:42:17 JST Lesbian Death Bed

     in reply to

     9
     Musk: my kid issa dead
     Barker: that's not what i hear, she's roasting your ass on threads
     Musk: mama mia!
     Barker: and turns out she's really good at posting
     Barker: are you sure she's actually YOUR kid?
     King: she must take after her mother

     goatsarah repeated this.
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     Lesbian Death Bed (bitterkarella@sfba.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-Jul-2024 02:42:17 JST Lesbian Death Bed

     in reply to

     10
     Musk: mama mia they trick me into signing consent form for puberty blockers!!!
     Barker: how do they trick you into signing a consent form
     Musk:
     Barker: do you not have reading comprehension?
     Musk: they hide it in a big pile of ketamine!
     Musk: itsa no fair!

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     Lesbian Death Bed (bitterkarella@sfba.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-Jul-2024 02:42:18 JST Lesbian Death Bed

     in reply to

     7
     King: you know what this reminds me of? my favorite cormoran strike book. have you guys read any cormoran strike?
     Barker: oh jesus here we go again
     Barker: i WISH something would free me from listening to this again!
     Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyyyy stephano king!
     Barker:

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     Lesbian Death Bed (bitterkarella@sfba.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-Jul-2024 02:42:18 JST Lesbian Death Bed

     in reply to

     8
     Musk: eyyyy stephano king mi amigo ey?
     King: we're not friends elon
     Musk: si si musk and king, we-a real bambinos ey!
     King: don't you have some kids to raise or something, elon?
     Musk: MY KID ISSA DEAD
     Musk: THATA MEANS YOU ALLA HAVE TO BE NICE TO ME

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     Lesbian Death Bed (bitterkarella@sfba.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-Jul-2024 02:42:19 JST Lesbian Death Bed

     in reply to

     5
     Jacobs: that's not the way it works
     Jacobs: you can't just trick a monkey's paw
     King: i don't know, i think they're on to something
     King: it's really just a problem with not being specific enough, isn't it?
     King: like if you just worded it right
     Jacobs: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS

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     Lesbian Death Bed (bitterkarella@sfba.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-Jul-2024 02:42:19 JST Lesbian Death Bed

     in reply to

     6
     Jacobs: you can't trick a monkey's paw!
     Barker: why not? i'm smarter than a monkey
     Poe: can we please stop talking about monkeys
     Barker: oh i forgot, edgar's afraid of monkeys
     Poe: I am NOT afraid of monkeys
     Barker: sorry, i meant apes
     Poe: I'm not afraid of apes either!!

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     Lesbian Death Bed (bitterkarella@sfba.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-Jul-2024 02:42:20 JST Lesbian Death Bed

     in reply to

     3
     Jacobs: there's this british couple and they use it to wish for money, but then their son dies in a horrible industrial accident and they get the insurance money
     Jacobs: and then they wish he was still alive
     Jacobs: but he comes back all fucked up

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     Lesbian Death Bed (bitterkarella@sfba.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-Jul-2024 02:42:20 JST Lesbian Death Bed

     in reply to

     4
     Jacobs: so they use their last wish to wish he was dead again
     Koontz: why didn't they just wish that he was back just the same as when he was alive?
     Barker: yeeeah
     Barker: dean's got a point
     Barker: yeah why DIDN'T they?

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     Lesbian Death Bed (bitterkarella@sfba.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-Jul-2024 02:42:21 JST Lesbian Death Bed

     in reply to

     2
     Jacobs: see, the thing is the monkey's paw grants wishes IRONICALLY
     Jacobs: like a real asshole genie or something

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     Lesbian Death Bed (bitterkarella@sfba.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-Jul-2024 02:43:09 JST Lesbian Death Bed

     in reply to

     12
     Musk: why you no like me? issa cuz you all gotta da woke mind virus?
     Poe: elon calm down
     Barker: yes elon that's right, everything's the woke mind virus
     Poe: don't say that clive, you're going to get him riled up
     Musk: mama mia!!!

     goatsarah repeated this.
   • Embed this notice
     Lesbian Death Bed (bitterkarella@sfba.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-Jul-2024 02:43:10 JST Lesbian Death Bed

     in reply to

     11
     Musk: eyyy why my kid no like-a me?
     Barker: is it because you're an absentee father who turned twitter into a chud echo chamber specifically to bully her?
     Musk:
     Musk: no
     Musk: issa because da woke mind virus
     Musk: ima da smartest man inna da world!

     goatsarah repeated this.
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     Lesbian Death Bed (bitterkarella@sfba.social)'s status on Saturday, 27-Jul-2024 02:43:50 JST Lesbian Death Bed

     in reply to

     13
     Musk: i never stop fighting da woke mind virus!
     Musk: ima da smartest man inna da world!
     [immediately smashes into the side of a cliff painted to look like a tunnel]