Conversation

other girls: "would you still love me if i was a worm"

me: "would you still love me if i was right next to you and i suddenly turned into a spoon. like. a regular-ass spoon you use for eating. except i'm made of pressurized solid atomic radon, and over the next few milliseconds i am likely about to violently depressurize and give you a dose of who knows how much radiation