@photovotary<\/a> <\/p> was real attention, not punishment, I got a lot of comments in the style:<\/p> \"If you had grown up in Asia\/a Black neighbourhood\" (or with an Asian\/Black mother), you'd understand.\"<\/p> 2\/2<\/p> @RickiTarr<\/a><\/p>","url":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/notice\/10027093","status_net":{"notice_id":null}},"to":[{"objectType":"http:\/\/activitystrea.ms\/schema\/1.0\/collection","id":"http:\/\/activityschema.org\/collection\/public"}],"status_net":{"conversation":"tag:gnusocial.jp,2025-05-27:objectType=thread:nonce=65ff2c4d96bd5d48","notice_info":{"local_id":"10027095","source":"ActivityPub","repeat_of":"10027093"}},"published":"2025-05-27T21:40:33+00:00","provider":{"objectType":"service","displayName":"GNU social JP","url":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/"},"title":"bmacDonald94 repeated a notice by mina","verb":"share","url":"https:\/\/hostux.social\/users\/bmacDonald94\/statuses\/114581945559237963\/activity"},{"actor":{"id":"https:\/\/berlin.social\/users\/mina","displayName":"Mina","status_net":{"avatarLinks":[{"url":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/avatar\/182370-original-tmp20251106102756.webp","rel":"avatar","type":"image\/webp","width":400,"height":400},{"url":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/avatar\/182370-96-20251106113308.webp","rel":"avatar","type":"image\/webp","width":96,"height":96},{"url":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/avatar\/182370-48-20251106104030.webp","rel":"avatar","type":"image\/webp","width":48,"height":48},{"url":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/avatar\/182370-24-20251106113308.webp","rel":"avatar","type":"image\/webp","width":24,"height":24}],"profile_info":{"local_id":"182370"}},"image":{"url":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/avatar\/182370-96-20251106113308.webp","rel":"avatar","type":"image\/webp","width":96,"height":96},"objectType":"person","summary":"Tooting in Deutsch, English, espa\u00f1olOriginally from Berlin, now back after >20 years abroad (ARG, UK, CH).I like and care about:Science, Math, IT, FOSS, parenting, fun, politics, books, \ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\u26a7\ufe0f things, music, film, cooking & food, some naughty stuff & much more.What I most enjoy, is interaction with friendly people.No DM please, unless we already know each other, or you have something important to tell!","url":"https:\/\/berlin.social\/@mina","portablecontacts_net":{"preferredUsername":"mina","displayName":"Mina","note":"Tooting in Deutsch, English, espa\u00f1olOriginally from Berlin, now back after >20 years abroad (ARG, UK, CH).I like and care about:Science, Math, IT, FOSS, parenting, fun, politics, books, \ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\u26a7\ufe0f things, music, film, cooking & food, some naughty stuff & much more.What I most enjoy, is interaction with friendly people.No DM please, unless we already know each other, or you have something important to tell!"}},"content":" @photovotary<\/a> <\/p> Not hitting children should be a no-brainer nowadays, one might think.<\/p> And yet: Some months ago, I got into a shitstorm in YouTube comments for advocating against it under a video of a \"misbehaving\" child where the mom did essentially nothing.<\/p> There were >1000 comments and only one person besides me took a stand against child abuse.<\/p> What I found equally disturbing was the degree of internalised racism:<\/p> When I tried to explain that what the child was needing,<\/p> 1\/2<\/p> @RickiTarr<\/a><\/p>","generator":{"id":"tag:gnusocial.jp,2026-07-22:notice-source:ActivityPub","objectType":"application","status_net":{"source_code":"ActivityPub"}},"id":"https:\/\/berlin.social\/users\/mina\/statuses\/113000168842596171","object":{"id":"https:\/\/berlin.social\/users\/mina\/statuses\/113000168842596171","objectType":"note","content":" @photovotary<\/a> <\/p> Not hitting children should be a no-brainer nowadays, one might think.<\/p> And yet: Some months ago, I got into a shitstorm in YouTube comments for advocating against it under a video of a \"misbehaving\" child where the mom did essentially nothing.<\/p> There were >1000 comments and only one person besides me took a stand against child abuse.<\/p> What I found equally disturbing was the degree of internalised racism:<\/p> When I tried to explain that what the child was needing,<\/p> 1\/2<\/p> @RickiTarr<\/a><\/p>","url":"https:\/\/berlin.social\/@mina\/113000168842596171","status_net":{"notice_id":null}},"to":[{"objectType":"http:\/\/activitystrea.ms\/schema\/1.0\/person","id":"https:\/\/beige.party\/users\/RickiTarr"},{"objectType":"http:\/\/activitystrea.ms\/schema\/1.0\/person","id":"https:\/\/beige.party\/users\/photovotary"},{"objectType":"http:\/\/activitystrea.ms\/schema\/1.0\/collection","id":"http:\/\/activityschema.org\/collection\/public"}],"status_net":{"conversation":"tag:gnusocial.jp,2025-05-27:objectType=thread:nonce=65ff2c4d96bd5d48","notice_info":{"local_id":"10027092","source":"ActivityPub"}},"published":"2025-05-27T21:40:30+00:00","provider":{"objectType":"service","displayName":"GNU social 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espa\u00f1olOriginally from Berlin, now back after >20 years abroad (ARG, UK, CH).I like and care about:Science, Math, IT, FOSS, parenting, fun, politics, books, \ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\u26a7\ufe0f things, music, film, cooking & food, some naughty stuff & much more.What I most enjoy, is interaction with friendly people.No DM please, unless we already know each other, or you have something important to tell!","url":"https:\/\/berlin.social\/@mina","portablecontacts_net":{"preferredUsername":"mina","displayName":"Mina","note":"Tooting in Deutsch, English, espa\u00f1olOriginally from Berlin, now back after >20 years abroad (ARG, UK, CH).I like and care about:Science, Math, IT, FOSS, parenting, fun, politics, books, \ud83c\udff3\ufe0f\u200d\u26a7\ufe0f things, music, film, cooking & food, some naughty stuff & much more.What I most enjoy, is interaction with friendly people.No DM please, unless we already know each other, or you have something important to tell!"}},"content":" @photovotary<\/a> <\/p> was real attention, not punishment, I got a lot of comments in the style:<\/p> \"If you had grown up in Asia\/a Black neighbourhood\" (or with an Asian\/Black mother), you'd understand.\"<\/p> 2\/2<\/p> @RickiTarr<\/a><\/p>","generator":{"id":"tag:gnusocial.jp,2026-07-22:notice-source:ActivityPub","objectType":"application","status_net":{"source_code":"ActivityPub"}},"id":"https:\/\/berlin.social\/users\/mina\/statuses\/113000180841256734","object":{"id":"https:\/\/berlin.social\/users\/mina\/statuses\/113000180841256734","objectType":"note","content":" @photovotary<\/a> <\/p> was real attention, not punishment, I got a lot of comments in the style:<\/p> \"If you had grown up in Asia\/a Black neighbourhood\" (or with an Asian\/Black mother), you'd understand.\"<\/p> 2\/2<\/p> @RickiTarr<\/a><\/p>","url":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/notice\/10027093","status_net":{"notice_id":null},"inReplyTo":{"objectType":"note","id":"https:\/\/berlin.social\/users\/mina\/statuses\/113000168842596171","url":"https:\/\/berlin.social\/@mina\/113000168842596171"}},"to":[{"objectType":"http:\/\/activitystrea.ms\/schema\/1.0\/person","id":"https:\/\/beige.party\/users\/RickiTarr"},{"objectType":"http:\/\/activitystrea.ms\/schema\/1.0\/person","id":"https:\/\/beige.party\/users\/photovotary"},{"objectType":"http:\/\/activitystrea.ms\/schema\/1.0\/collection","id":"http:\/\/activityschema.org\/collection\/public"}],"status_net":{"conversation":"tag:gnusocial.jp,2025-05-27:objectType=thread:nonce=65ff2c4d96bd5d48","notice_info":{"local_id":"10027093","source":"ActivityPub"}},"published":"2025-05-27T21:40:29+00:00","provider":{"objectType":"service","displayName":"GNU social 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Sciences teacher. I'm interested in everything.I think society performs at its best when we take care of others, especially the weakest among us. That means a strong social safety net, with "free" healthcare, education, and public transit. It's a dream, I know.30+ years of explaining stuff to teenagers has left me with some habits... I'm not a mansplainer, but I *do* like to find ways to 'splain stuff to receptive ears \ud83d\ude0aMy Toots: https:\/\/justmytoots.com\/MichaelPorter@ottawa.place","url":"https:\/\/ottawa.place\/@MichaelPorter","portablecontacts_net":{"preferredUsername":"MichaelPorter","displayName":"Michael Porter","note":"Retired Chem\/Physics\/Earth Sciences teacher. I'm interested in everything.I think society performs at its best when we take care of others, especially the weakest among us. That means a strong social safety net, with "free" healthcare, education, and public transit. It's a dream, I know.30+ years of explaining stuff to teenagers has left me with some habits... I'm not a mansplainer, but I *do* like to find ways to 'splain stuff to receptive ears \ud83d\ude0aMy Toots: https:\/\/justmytoots.com\/MichaelPorter@ottawa.place"}},"content":" @mina<\/a> @photovotary<\/a> @RickiTarr<\/a> To those people who value having been hit as a child, I would ask, \u201cDid it work?\u201d<\/p> I was an impulsive, adventurous kid. I got into fights, I stole stuff, I broke stuff, I set stuff on fire\u2026 I got spanked a *lot*! <\/p> I remember many, many times that I did things that were punished with a spanking. <\/p> I *don\u2019t* remember thinking, even *once*, \u201cI\u2019d better not do this, I\u2019m going to get spanked!\u201d<\/p> I *do* remember conversations: Spanking, even by caring, compassionate parents that were clearly trying to guide their children to do the right thing, didn\u2019t work. I never felt any kind of resentment against my parents. After the fact, I fully agreed that whatever I had done warranted the punishment. I suppose it helped that my father would always come and talk to me, after I had had a chance to think about it. He would make it clear that it was only about my actions, and not indicative of any lack of love for me. The punishment was compartmentalized nicely.<\/p> Oddly, I\u2019m thankful for that lesson, because it guided my own parenting. I realized that *my* urge to spank my kids was all about me, acting rash in the moment, as opposed to any kind of effective strategy to mold young minds. I could only imagine I would feel regret in the aftermath, and not achieved anything other than the possible resentment of me by my kids. To be clear, *I* never felt that resentment for my parents. But I did notice it wasn\u2019t an effective deterrent.<\/p> Maybe it works for kids that are less impulsive than I was. But I think those kids would be even more receptive to a conversation than I was. Maybe try that instead.<\/p>","generator":{"id":"tag:gnusocial.jp,2026-07-22:notice-source:ActivityPub","objectType":"application","status_net":{"source_code":"ActivityPub"}},"id":"https:\/\/ottawa.place\/users\/MichaelPorter\/statuses\/113000657235491613","object":{"id":"https:\/\/ottawa.place\/users\/MichaelPorter\/statuses\/113000657235491613","objectType":"note","content":" @mina<\/a> @photovotary<\/a> @RickiTarr<\/a> To those people who value having been hit as a child, I would ask, \u201cDid it work?\u201d<\/p> I was an impulsive, adventurous kid. I got into fights, I stole stuff, I broke stuff, I set stuff on fire\u2026 I got spanked a *lot*! <\/p> I remember many, many times that I did things that were punished with a spanking. <\/p> I *don\u2019t* remember thinking, even *once*, \u201cI\u2019d better not do this, I\u2019m going to get spanked!\u201d<\/p> I *do* remember conversations: Spanking, even by caring, compassionate parents that were clearly trying to guide their children to do the right thing, didn\u2019t work. I never felt any kind of resentment against my parents. After the fact, I fully agreed that whatever I had done warranted the punishment. I suppose it helped that my father would always come and talk to me, after I had had a chance to think about it. He would make it clear that it was only about my actions, and not indicative of any lack of love for me. The punishment was compartmentalized nicely.<\/p> Oddly, I\u2019m thankful for that lesson, because it guided my own parenting. I realized that *my* urge to spank my kids was all about me, acting rash in the moment, as opposed to any kind of effective strategy to mold young minds. I could only imagine I would feel regret in the aftermath, and not achieved anything other than the possible resentment of me by my kids. To be clear, *I* never felt that resentment for my parents. But I did notice it wasn\u2019t an effective deterrent.<\/p> Maybe it works for kids that are less impulsive than I was. But I think those kids would be even more receptive to a conversation than I was. Maybe try that instead.<\/p>","url":"https:\/\/ottawa.place\/@MichaelPorter\/113000657235491613","status_net":{"notice_id":null},"inReplyTo":{"objectType":"note","id":"https:\/\/berlin.social\/users\/mina\/statuses\/113000180841256734","url":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/notice\/10027093"}},"to":[{"objectType":"http:\/\/activitystrea.ms\/schema\/1.0\/person","id":"https:\/\/beige.party\/users\/RickiTarr"},{"objectType":"http:\/\/activitystrea.ms\/schema\/1.0\/person","id":"https:\/\/berlin.social\/users\/mina"},{"objectType":"http:\/\/activitystrea.ms\/schema\/1.0\/person","id":"https:\/\/beige.party\/users\/photovotary"},{"objectType":"http:\/\/activitystrea.ms\/schema\/1.0\/collection","id":"http:\/\/activityschema.org\/collection\/public"}],"status_net":{"conversation":"tag:gnusocial.jp,2025-05-27:objectType=thread:nonce=65ff2c4d96bd5d48","notice_info":{"local_id":"10027094","source":"ActivityPub"}},"published":"2025-05-27T21:40:27+00:00","provider":{"objectType":"service","displayName":"GNU social JP","url":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/"},"verb":"post","url":"https:\/\/ottawa.place\/@MichaelPorter\/113000657235491613"}],"links":[{"url":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/conversation\/5111910","rel":"alternate","type":"text\/html"}]}
- The one where my mom talked to me about my experiment with smoking when I was nine. No spanking, just a good argument against it, in terms that made sense to me at the time.
- The one where she sat me down with some pamphlets from the fire department (I was playing with matches and so forth) and talked about her fears for the consequences of my fascination with flame.
- The ones that reminded me of the value of treating other people with respect, love, and empathy.<\/p>
- The one where my mom talked to me about my experiment with smoking when I was nine. No spanking, just a good argument against it, in terms that made sense to me at the time.
- The one where she sat me down with some pamphlets from the fire department (I was playing with matches and so forth) and talked about her fears for the consequences of my fascination with flame.
- The ones that reminded me of the value of treating other people with respect, love, and empathy.<\/p>