{"text":"I hope today in front of the Supreme Court building a protester throws a rubber dildo at John Roberts like folks elsewhere are doing to ICE and it bounces off the building's marble cladding and lands right at his feet and ofc he doesn't want to touch it but also he doesn't want to just leave it lying there sullying the dignity of the Court and because he's an orderly person he decides to do the right thing and dispose of it and the instant he bends over and has it in his hand yep, you guessed it, 163 different protesters and tourists all take and post photos of the Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court with his butt stuck out holding a dildo and before he even reaches his chambers everyone has seen it and his law clerks are snickering and he feels gullible and foolish so he decides maybe he can deflect some of his embarrassment with more humor so he puts it in Clarence Thomas's inbox, but Clarence doesn't think that's funny either and chews him out so John's whole day is basically shot.\nhttps:\/\/www.closertotheedge.net\/p\/the-dildo-distribution-delegation","truncated":false,"created_at":"Mon May 18 06:54:06 +0900 2026","in_reply_to_status_id":"12613670","uri":"https:\/\/c.im\/users\/msbellows\/statuses\/116405707766423934","source":"ActivityPub","source_link":null,"id":12613671,"in_reply_to_user_id":80532,"in_reply_to_screen_name":"msbellows","geo":null,"attachments":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.closertotheedge.net\/p\/the-dildo-distribution-delegation","mimetype":"text\/html; charset=utf-8","size":null,"id":"5727123","version":"1.2","thumb_url":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/thumbnail\/5727123?w=1200&h=675","large_thumb_url":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/thumbnail\/5727123?w=1200&h=675","width":null,"height":null}],"user":{"id":80532,"name":"M.S. Bellows, Jr.","screen_name":"msbellows","location":null,"description":"Twitter diaspora. Agamemnon sucks: we do the fighting, he gets the girls. (Oregonian. Mediator\/lawyer\/writer; bylines in The Guardian, Alternet, HuffPost\/OffTheBus, more.) Dad of the best adult kids ever; 3+ decade husband to the best woman ever. Ex-mountain rescue volunteer, USFS firefighter, aircrash litigator, prosecutor, swimming pool digger, bartender. Other stuff. Kindness is king.","profile_image_url":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/avatar\/80532-48-20221225165317.webp","profile_image_url_https":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/avatar\/80532-48-20221225165317.webp","profile_image_url_profile_size":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/avatar\/80532-96-20221225165317.webp","profile_image_url_original":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/avatar\/80532-original-tmp20221225165317.webp","groups_count":0,"linkcolor":false,"backgroundcolor":false,"url":null,"protected":false,"followers_count":0,"friends_count":0,"created_at":"Mon Dec 26 01:53:16 +0900 2022","utc_offset":"0","time_zone":"UTC","statuses_count":576,"following":false,"statusnet_blocking":false,"notifications":false,"statusnet_profile_url":"https:\/\/c.im\/@msbellows","cover_photo":false,"background_image":false,"profile_link_color":false,"profile_background_color":false,"profile_banner_url":false,"is_local":false,"is_silenced":false,"rights":{"delete_user":false,"delete_others_notice":false,"silence":false,"sandbox":false},"is_sandboxed":false,"favourites_count":0},"statusnet_html":"

I hope today in front of the Supreme Court building a protester throws a rubber dildo at John Roberts like folks elsewhere are doing to ICE and it bounces off the building's marble cladding and lands right at his feet and ofc he doesn't want to touch it but also he doesn't want to just leave it lying there sullying the dignity of the Court and because he's an orderly person he decides to do the right thing and dispose of it and the instant he bends over and has it in his hand yep, you guessed it, 163 different protesters and tourists all take and post photos of the Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court with his butt stuck out holding a dildo and before he even reaches his chambers everyone has seen it and his law clerks are snickering and he feels gullible and foolish so he decides maybe he can deflect some of his embarrassment with more humor so he puts it in Clarence Thomas's inbox, but Clarence doesn't think that's funny either and chews him out so John's whole day is basically shot.
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