{"text":"Today I hope that John Roberts decides to get out the stepladder and clean that one leaf-filled gutter over the garage and he doesn't fall or anything but as he scoops the half-decayed leaves out of the gutter  he tosses them onto the driveway below and when he's done with the first section he climbs back down to move the ladder over a few feet and when he has one foot on the bottom rung he puts the other one on the ground covered with leaves and that foot slips out so his legs straddle and he pulls his groin painfully and also the other foot slips awkwardly between the rungs which scrapes his shin all the way up and as he's lying on the ground the ladder topples comedically over on top of him so when he finally extricates himself and hobbles into the house he's bleeding from his shin and also his forehead where the falling ladder hit him and when he gets inside some of his blood drips onto the entryway and then he feels even worse because he knows his wife is going to scold him for being clumsy and making a mess.","truncated":false,"created_at":"Mon May 18 06:54:08 +0900 2026","in_reply_to_status_id":"12613660","uri":"https:\/\/c.im\/users\/msbellows\/statuses\/116348464447225633","source":"ActivityPub","source_link":null,"id":12613661,"in_reply_to_user_id":80532,"in_reply_to_screen_name":"msbellows","geo":null,"user":{"id":80532,"name":"M.S. Bellows, Jr.","screen_name":"msbellows","location":null,"description":"Twitter diaspora. Agamemnon sucks: we do the fighting, he gets the girls. (Oregonian. Mediator\/lawyer\/writer; bylines in The Guardian, Alternet, HuffPost\/OffTheBus, more.) Dad of the best adult kids ever; 3+ decade husband to the best woman ever. Ex-mountain rescue volunteer, USFS firefighter, aircrash litigator, prosecutor, swimming pool digger, bartender. Other stuff. Kindness is king.","profile_image_url":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/avatar\/80532-48-20221225165317.webp","profile_image_url_https":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/avatar\/80532-48-20221225165317.webp","profile_image_url_profile_size":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/avatar\/80532-96-20221225165317.webp","profile_image_url_original":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/avatar\/80532-original-tmp20221225165317.webp","groups_count":0,"linkcolor":false,"backgroundcolor":false,"url":null,"protected":false,"followers_count":0,"friends_count":0,"created_at":"Mon Dec 26 01:53:16 +0900 2022","utc_offset":"0","time_zone":"UTC","statuses_count":576,"following":false,"statusnet_blocking":false,"notifications":false,"statusnet_profile_url":"https:\/\/c.im\/@msbellows","cover_photo":false,"background_image":false,"profile_link_color":false,"profile_background_color":false,"profile_banner_url":false,"is_local":false,"is_silenced":false,"rights":{"delete_user":false,"delete_others_notice":false,"silence":false,"sandbox":false},"is_sandboxed":false,"favourites_count":0},"statusnet_html":"<p>Today I hope that John Roberts decides to get out the stepladder and clean that one leaf-filled gutter over the garage and he doesn't fall or anything but as he scoops the half-decayed leaves out of the gutter  he tosses them onto the driveway below and when he's done with the first section he climbs back down to move the ladder over a few feet and when he has one foot on the bottom rung he puts the other one on the ground covered with leaves and that foot slips out so his legs straddle and he pulls his groin painfully and also the other foot slips awkwardly between the rungs which scrapes his shin all the way up and as he's lying on the ground the ladder topples comedically over on top of him so when he finally extricates himself and hobbles into the house he's bleeding from his shin and also his forehead where the falling ladder hit him and when he gets inside some of his blood drips onto the entryway and then he feels even worse because he knows his wife is going to scold him for being clumsy and making a mess.<\/p>","statusnet_conversation_id":6406187,"statusnet_in_groups":false,"external_url":"https:\/\/gnusocial.jp\/notice\/12613661","in_reply_to_profileurl":"https:\/\/c.im\/@msbellows","in_reply_to_ostatus_uri":"https:\/\/c.im\/users\/msbellows","attentions":[],"fave_num":0,"repeat_num":0,"is_post_verb":true,"is_local":false,"favorited":false,"repeated":false}